Prettykittie > Prettykittie's Quotes

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”
― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., I Have a Dream: Writings and Speeches That Changed the World

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
― Groucho Marx

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
― Groucho Marx

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
― Groucho Marx

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
― Groucho Marx

“If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.”
― Groucho Marx

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
― Groucho Marx

“You cant have everything. Where would you put it?”
― Steven Wright

“Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak? ”
― Steven Wright

“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
― Steven Wright

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

“Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?”
― Steven Wright

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”
― Steven Wright

“The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
― Alexandre Dumas-fils

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

“I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.”
― Steven Wright

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.”
― George Carlin

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
― George Carlin

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
― George Carlin