Patrick > Patrick's Quotes

“To whom do mad gods pray? Englishmen?”
― John de Lancie, I, Q

“Why?” he asked Pate. “What am I to them?”
“A knight who remembered his vows,” the smith said.”
― George R.R. Martin, The Hedge Knight

“Oak and iron, guard me well, or else I'm dead, and doomed to hell.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

“The shortest answer is doing the thing.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

“Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there.
Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bᴀʏ Oғ Mᴀɴᴛᴇ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? he said.
“No, sir,” said Mort.
Fᴀᴍᴏᴜs sʜɪᴘᴡʀᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ.
“Was there?”
Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ, said Death, ɪғ I ᴄᴀɴ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.”
― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

“THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“There should be a word for that brief period just after waking when the mind is full of warm pink nothing. You lie there entirely empty of thought, except for a growing suspicion that heading towards you, like a sockful of damp sand in a nocturnal alleyway, are all the recollections you'd really rather do without, and which amount to the fact that the only mitigating factor in your horrible future is the certainty that it will be quite short. ”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Well,----me,” he said. “A----ing wizard. I hate----ing wizards!” “You shouldn’t----them, then,” muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“THERE'S NO JUSTICE, said Mort. JUST US.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Goddammit Donut!”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Mana Toast. This is toast. It refills your mana. That’s it. Nothing more. Fuck you.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Did we really just start a meth war between the goblins and the llamas?”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Donut: THIS MUSIC IS MAKING MY HEAD HURT. WHY CAN’T THEY PLAY SOMETHING GOOD? LIKE OASIS.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“New achievement! War Criminal. You have killed more than 20 non-combatants in a single attack! Question: What’s the only thing standing between an innocent child and a happy, fulfilling life? Answer: You. The answer is you. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Asshole’s Box!”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“So help me god,” I said. “I will abandon you right here and right now if you choose to take up the kazoo.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“Mongo is appalled.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“They were all gone. All I had left in this world was right here. Mongo soon started to snore. I could feel Donut’s warmth against the back of my neck. She breathed softly, oblivious of all that had occurred tonight. This, I thought, this is my family.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“All it takes is a little seed, my mom had said that day as we planted the trees. Just little seeds here and there, and soon enough you have a forest.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“NecroBard This unusual class combines one of the most-loved occupations with one of the most reviled.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man?”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people would lead better lives."

IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man