April > April's Quotes

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

“We just had a near-life experience”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

“I Am Jack's Medulla Oblongata
I Am Jill's Nipple
I Am Jack's Colon

I Am Jack's Raging Bile Duct
I Am Jack's Cold Sweat
I Am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise
I Am Jack's Inflamed Sense of Rejection
I Am Jack's Smirking Revenge
I Am Jack's Broken Heart”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

“Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it.
Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.”
― William Faulkner

“Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
― J. D. Salinger

“A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“Console yourselves. I found dying highly disagreeable. I have no intention of repeating the experience.
- Lady Denham”
― Kate Riordan, Sanditon

“In that moment, as they stood smiling at one another, Charlotte was conscious of several contradictory sensations, of which the chief were these: annoyance with herself for being incapable of governing her own actions, satisfaction that Sidney had won this very minor victory over her, amusement, embarrassment - an odd something between perturbation and pleasure - and above all else, a flutter of joyful spirits which made her feel she had strayed somehow into a most unfamiliar world.”
― Jane Austen, Sanditon: Jane Austen's Last Novel Completed

“It’s a widely known fact that most moms are ready to kill someone by eight thirty A.M. on any given morning. On the particular morning of Tuesday, October eighth, I was ready by seven forty-five. If you’ve never had to wrestle a two-year-old slathered in maple syrup into a diaper while your four-year-old decides to give herself a haircut in time for preschool, all while trying to track down the whereabouts of your missing nanny as you sop up coffee grounds from an overflowing pot because in your sleep-deprived fog you forgot to put in the filter, let me spell it out for you.

I was ready to kill someone. I didn’t really care who.”
― Elle Cosimano, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It

“My Google search history alone was probably enough to put me on a government watch list. I wrote suspense novels about murders like this. I’d searched every possible way to kill someone. With every conceivable kind of weapon.”
― Elle Cosimano, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It

“Nick and Vero glanced up as my heels clicked into the kitchen. Vero looked confused. “I’m sorry. Do I know you? Because I thought I worked for a vampire in yoga pants.”
― Elle Cosimano, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It

“My relationship with Panera was complicated. I liked their soup. Panera didn't like that I'd poured it over another customer's head. In my defense, Theresa had started it when she'd attempted to justify her reasons for sleeping with my husband.”
― Elle Cosimano, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It

“Dude, you tried to slice my you-know-what's off!"
Thomas laughed, something that he hadn't done in a long time. He welcomed it happily. "Too bad I didn't. Could've saved the world from future little Minhos.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“Please, Tommy, Please.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“Next time I'll pat you on the freaking back for stating the obvious.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“Just don't plan on hugs every time I see you.” “The feeling's mutual.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“And we want to make sure that something is done to salvage what’s left of this beautiful race called humans.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“if any of your body parts become detached due to an unfortunate encounter with a crank, I highly advise you leave said body part behind and run like hell. Unless it's a leg, of course.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“Really, Mr. Collins,' cried Elizabeth with some warmth, 'you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them──by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

“Don't leave me, Bertie. I'm lost."
"What do you mean, lost?"
"I came out for a walk and suddenly discovered after a mile or two that I didn't know where on earth I was. I've been wandering round in circles for hours."
"Why didn't you ask the way?"
"I can't speak a word of French."
"Well, why didn't you call a taxi?"
"I suddenly discovered I'd left all my money at my hotel."
"You could have taken a cab and paid it when you got to the hotel."
"Yes, but I suddenly discovered, dash it, that I'd forgotten its name."
And there in a nutshell you have Charles Edward Biffen. As vague and woollen-headed a blighter as ever bit a sandwich.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves

“What on earth are you doing in Paris?" I asked.
"Bertie, old man," said Biffy solemnly, "I came here to try and forget."
"Well, you've certainly succeeded.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves

“What ho!' I said. 'What ho!' said Motty. 'What ho! What ho!' 'What ho! What ho! What ho!' After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster)

“I don't know if you know Marvis Bay? It's in Dorsetshire; and, while not what you would cal a fiercely exciting spot, has many good points. You spend the day bathing and sitting on the sands, and in the evening you stroll out on the shore with the mosquitoes. At nine p.m. you rub ointment on the wounds and go to bed. It was a simple, healthy life, and it seemed to suit poor old Freddie absolutely. Once the moon was up and the breeze sighing in the trees, you couldn't drag him from that beach with ropes. He became quite a popular pet with the mosquitoes. They would hang round waiting for him to come out, and would give a miss to perfectly good strollers just so as to be in good condition for him.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves

“The bravest people are the ones who don’t mind looking like cowards.”
― T.H. White, The Once and Future King