Min > Min's Quotes

“I urge you to find a way to immerse yourself fully in the life that you’ve been given. To stop running from whatever you’re trying to escape, and instead to stop, and turn, and face whatever it is.”
― Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence

“The best way to spark conversation is to be specific. Include quirky things that make you stand out. If you say, “I like music,” that doesn’t really tell me anything about you. Cool, who doesn’t? Same with writing that you like travel, food, and laughter. That’s like saying you like Tom Hanks. Yeah, dude, he’s an American hero. Don’t tell me you like to cook; describe to me your signature dish and what makes your Vietnamese soup pho-nomenal. The more specific you are, the more opportunities you give potential matches to connect by commenting on that quirk.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“The best way to spark conversation is to be specific”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“The important thing to remember is that its absence doesn’t predict failure, and its presence doesn’t guarantee success. As my mathematician client said to me once, “The spark is neither necessary nor sufficient for long-term relationship happiness.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. Relationships are your story, write well, and edit often.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“The most successful duos complement each other. They don’t have identical traits. When they miss a flight, one partner finds another route and soothes the other’s panic. That’s what makes them win.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“For every hot person, there is someone out there tired of having sex with them.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“Satisficers report feeling happier with their choices, even when they select an objectively worse option. (I mean, come on. Your friend’s Nespresso machine didn’t even make Wirecutter’s top picks!) That’s because Maximizers constantly second-guess themselves. They suffer doubly: first in the agony leading up to the decision, and again every time they worry they’ve made the wrong one.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“Eventually, you just have to get out there and start dating, imperfect as you are. Everyone else is imperfect, too—even the person you’ll end up with.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“When people are anxiously attached, their brains flood with “activists strategies,” thoughts that compel them to regain closeness. For example, they might think about their partner nonstop. Or they may dwell on their partners good qualities while undervaluing their own. This distortion leads to panic. And when they don’t hear back from their partners immediately, they worry they’re being abandoned. They can shake their anxiety only when they’re actively communicating with their partner. This also leads them to jump into relationships and stay in them past their expiration date because they fear being alone and worry that this is their only shot at love.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“Apps primarily give us résumé traits and nothing more. Only by spending time with someone can you appreciate that person for the “experiential good” they are.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“Try my favourite approach to avoiding small talk. Enter the date in media res. That’s Latin for “in the middle of things.” It’s a literary term that describes a story opening somewhere in the middle of the action, rather than at the beginning. (You can think of it as “coming in hot.”) When you walk into a date, instead of starting with the awkward “So, how’s your day going?” or “Where do you live?” jump right into the middle of things: “You’ll never guess what happened on my way over here!” or “I just got off the phone with my sister and she told me about this battles she’s in with her landlord over the recycling bins.” By skipping the getting-to-know you small talk and diving straight into the type of conversation that friends (or lovers!) might have, you take a shortcut to intimacy. Of course the conversation may reverse—you’ll eventually cover how your day is going, where you live, and so on, but at least you will have dipped your toes into the waters of real conversation.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“If your date says, “I’m going to Lake Michigan with my family in a few weeks,” a shift response would be: “Oh, I went there a few summers ago.” Even though, on the surface, you’re engaging with what your date has said, you’ve drawn the attention back to yourself. A support response might sound like “Have you been there before?” or “How did your family choose that location?” Support responses indicate that you’re invested in their story and want to hear more. They make your date feel appreciated and amplify the connection between the two of you.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“Do not judge others the way you would not want to be judged.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“couples who wait at least three years are 39 percent less likely to get divorced than those who get engaged after less than a year.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“Look for someone who’s there for you whether you’ve won an industry award or are stuck in the cancer ward.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“The goal is not to convince each other to change or even to come to an agreement—it’s to find a productive way to live with this difference.”
― Logan Ury, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

“And since she wanted to be good, she's always been careful not to care too much about money. Now she wondered if all those Disney movies were merely propaganda to keep poor people content with their lot. 'We may be poor, but we're the salt of the earth, we know what really matters. The rich are perverted by their hideous wealth - why, look at that Cruella de Vil!' But good or evil, even single dollar was power. Power to hire a lawyer, power to control how she spent her time, power to change her appearance, power to command respect. Power to be who she wanted to be.”
― Rufi Thorpe, Margo's Got Money Troubles

“In the past two decades, research has revealed that the brain has a surprising level of neuroplasticity, meaning an ability to change its structures and reorganize its patterns of reacting.”
― Catherine M. Pittman, Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry

“Consider it this way: We are the descendants of frightened people. Early humans whose amygdala reacted to potential dangers and produced a strong fear response were most likely to behave in cautious ways and be protective of their children, which meant they were more likely to survive and pass their genes (and frightened amygdala) on to future generations.”
― Catherine M. Pittman, Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry

“We, as people, have to test the world. You have to test your boundaries, to find out who you are, how you want to live.
Other people - and by other people, I mean men - were afforded that freedom.”
― Britney Spears, The Woman in Me

“According to research, work is the #1 cause of life stress for most people—and your manager has as much impact on your mental health as your spouse.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Pressure doesn’t create change—it creates resistance to it. When you try to exert control over someone else’s behavior, they instinctively resist your attempt to try to control them.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“That’s rock bottom and it changes your life for the better. Because, when you finally hit it, you connect with something solid inside yourself—the resolve to change.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“I’m a woman. Guilt is our birthright. Guilt if we want to be mothers, guilt if we take the Pill instead or choose to abort. Guilt if we stay home with our kids or guilt if we work. Guilt if we sleep with a man, guilt if we say no. Guilt if we’re lucky enough to survive for no good reason. I’m so damned sick of it. I’ve never been so tired of anything in my life. I just . . . I just want to go to sleep forever.”
― Deanna Raybourn, Killers of a Certain Age

“It's a comfortable place, mediocrity. Never pushing oneself to the limit to see what you can take. Never staring down your fears, never reaching into yourself to find that last bit of courage. You don't even know what it is that you're made of-and what's more, you seem distinctly uninterested in finding out.”
― Deanna Raybourn, Killers of a Certain Age

“She might be less than what she had once been, but she was still worth a hell of a lot.”
― Deanna Raybourn, Killers of a Certain Age

“Generally speaking, individual Black and Latinx and Asian and Middle Eastern and European immigrants are uniquely resilient and resourceful—not because they are Nigerian or Cuban or Japanese or Saudi Arabian or German but because they are immigrants. In fact, immigrants and migrants of all races tend to be more resilient and resourceful when compared with the natives of their own countries and the natives of their new countries.”
― Ibram X. Kendi, How to Be an Antiracist

“When we become kinder to ourselves, we can become kinder to the world.”
― Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection

“Thinking too much can make it difficult to act. If you just do it, then it is done. But if you give in to your thinking, your mind will get in the way, telling you “you can’t,” “you shouldn’t,” “you don’t want to.” In that case, get up early the next morning and just do the thing you’ve been putting off. If you give yourself time to start thinking about it, inaction will take hold again.”
― Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection