Michael Lyons > Michael's Quotes

“And the Shadow fell upon the land, and the world was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World. The moon was as blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.

And it came to pass in those days, as it had come before and would come again, that the Dark lay heavy on the land and weighed down the hearts of men, and the green things failed, and hope died. And men cried out to the Creator, saying, O Light of the Heavens, Light of the World, let the Promised One be born of the mountain, according to the prophecies, as he was in ages past and will be in ages to come. Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.”
― Robert Jordan, The Eye of the World

“He is born again! I feel him! The Dragon takes his first breath on the slope of Dragonmount! He is coming! He is coming! Light help us! Light help the world! He lies in the snow and cries like the thunder! He burns like the sun!”
― Robert Jordan

“The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.”
― Robert Jordan

“As he was halfway through the portal, pushing forward as though trying to escape a rushing river, he screamed, “Remember, Lindon! Remember to visit a barber! A barber, Lindon! Your hair lacks volume and defin—”
― Will Wight, Wintersteel

“It’s interesting how humans decide whether or not to panic by watching others, [...] what if all of you are wrong together?”
― Will Wight, Uncrowned

“Apologies, but I thought you would try to trick me into doing it.” “Lindon! Lindon. Lindon. How dare you say something so hurtful and yet so accurate.”
― Will Wight, Reaper

“A dozen more questions occurred to me. Not to mention twenty-two possible solutions to each one, sixteen resulting hypotheses and counter-theorems, eight abstract speculations, a quadrilateral equation, two axioms, and a limerick. That's raw intelligence for you.”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style."

"That is a footstool.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“A typical master. Right to the end, he didn’t give me a chance to get a word in edgeways. Which is a pity, because at that last moment I’d have liked to tell him what I thought of him. Mind you, since in that split second we were, to all intents and purposes, one and the same, I rather think he knew anyway.”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“I had a chance at him now. Things were a bit more even. He knew my name, I knew his. He had six years' experience, I had five thousand and ten. That was the kind of odds that you could do something with.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“Believe me, I know all about bottle acoustics. I spent much of the sixth century in an old sesame oil jar, corked with wax, bobbing about in the Red Sea. No one heard my hollers. In the end an old fisherman set me free, by which time I was desperate enough to grant him several wishes. I erupted in the form of a smoking giant, did a few lightning bolts, and bent to ask him his desire. Poor old boy had dropped dead of a heart attack. There should be a moral there, but for the life of me I can't see one.”
― Jonathan Stroud

“Minor magicians take pains to fit this traditional wizardly bill. By contrast, the really powerful magicians take pleasure in looking like accountants.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“I warn you," the boy went on. "I am a magician of great power. I control many terrifying entities. This being you see before you" - here I rolled my shoulders back and puffed my chest up menacingly - "is but the meanest and least impressive of my slaves." (Here I slumped my shoulders and stuck my stomach out.)”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“Goddammit Donut!”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Did... did you just rip your dick off and throw it at me?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“I had multiple, passive, low-tier stealth movement abilities that never worked for shit because I traveled with a dinosaur and a talking cat, but I hoped it would help cover my passage now.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Gate of the Feral Gods

“Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“They say the sincerest form of flattery is when someone copies you.” Donut scoffed. “No, Carl. That’s just something thieves say to make themselves feel better about stealing other people’s stuff. The sincerest form of flattery is when people cry when they meet you.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“Don’t gaslight me, Jesus.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“I don’t stick my butthole in everybody’s face when they’re trying to sit down and eat.” “Well, excuse me for showing affection. I mean really.”
― Matt Dinniman, This Inevitable Ruin

“Mongo is appalled.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“I don’t understand a word of what the fuck you just said.” The robot sighed. “I apologize, Carl. Let me translate it to earth monkey speak.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“You are more than just a person, if we lose you we lose everything. You are a symbol. You're the embodiment of our hope. You and that annoying f**king cat!.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“Donut told me about your dumbass idea to use one of your own bones or whatever to get out. People have bones for a reason, Carl.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“How do you fight someone smarter than yourself?" Rand whispered. "The anser is simple. You make her think that you are sitting down across the table from her, ready to play her game. Then you punch her in the face as hard as you can.”
― Robert Jordan, The Gathering Storm

“If you wish, you may call me Rand Sedai.”
― Robert Jordan, Towers of Midnight

“Limping to the foot of the bed, he lowered himself into the chest there and laid Callandor across his knees, bloody hands resting on the glowing blade. With that in his hands, even one of the Forsaken would fear him. In a moment he would send for Moiraine to Heal his wounds. In a moment he would speak to the Aiel outside, and become the Dragon Reborn again. But for now, he only wanted to sit, and remember a shepherd named Rand al’Thor.”
― Robert Jordan, The Shadow Rising

“The difference between you and Cadsuane is that you actually care about me. She only cares about my place in her plans. She wants me to be part of the Final battle. You want me to live. For that, you have my thanks. Dream on my behalf, Nynaeve. Dream for things I no longer can.”
― Robert Jordan, The Gathering Storm

“I would not mind you in my head, if you were not so clearly mad.”
― Robert Jordan, The Path of Daggers

“Rand looked up at it. Then he smiled. Finally, he let out a deep-throated laugh, true and pure. It had been far too long.”
― Robert Jordan, The Gathering Storm