Avery Jahn > Avery's Quotes

“In the land where everyone screams, everyone is also slightly deaf.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Tress of the Emerald Sea

“Well, parents have to say things like that. They’re required to see the best in their children, otherwise living with the little sociopaths would drive a person mad.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Tress of the Emerald Sea

“More twisted than a librarian’s love life (trust me, they’re a strange bunch),”
― Brandon Sanderson, Tress of the Emerald Sea

“THINK ABOUT COWS THINK ABOUT COWS THINK ABOUT COWS.”
― Tui T. Sutherland, The Dragonet Prophecy

“Curses. Couldn't we talk about something cheerful for once? Like . . . Cake?
Cake is cheerful. Cake isn't trying to kill me.”
― Kara Swanson, Dust

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
"So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Yep, that pretty much describes my life: because Poseidon.”
― Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

“Want to hit Leo?
That is understandable
Hunk muffin earned it”
― Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

“Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water.

Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't say toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!"

Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation.

"You other two..." He pointed his blade a Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus--"

All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger.

"You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced.”
― rick riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper.
"Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole."
"What?" Piper asked.
"Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Now, come over here so I can pat you down."
"But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."
He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down.
"You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?"
"Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“To my wonderful readers:
Sorry about that last cliff-hanger.
Well, no, not really. HAHAHAHA.
But seriously, I love you guys.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Correct." Kekrops sounded bitter, like he regretted his decision. "My people were the original Athenians--the gemini."
"Like your zodiac sign?" Percy asked. "I'm a Leo."
"No, stupid," Leo said. "I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"
Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Gaea?” Leo shook his head. “Isn’t that Mother Nature? She’s supposed to have, like, flowers in her hair and birds singing around her and dear and rabbits doing her laundry.”
“Leo, that’s Snow White,” Piper said.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said.
"That's not what I meant.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“How did you die?"
"We er....drowned in a bathtub."
"All three of you?"
"It was a big bathtub.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

“Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff."
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?”
― Rick Riordan

“Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”
― Rick Riordan

“You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"
"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

“God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!
Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

“Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth