Mike > Mike's Quotes

“sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

“context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one's life. I mean, lets face it:when you're eating simple barbecue under a palm tree, and you feel sand between your toes, samba music is playing softly in the backgroud, waves are lapping at the shore a few yards off, a gentle breeze is cooling the sweat on the back of your neck at the hairline, and looking across the table, past the column of empty Red Stripes at the dreamy expression on your companion's face, you realize that in half an hour you're proably going to be having sex on clean white hotel sheets, that grilled chicken leg suddenly tastes a hell of a lot better”
― Anthony Bourdain, A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines

“They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.”
― Anthony Bourdain, A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines

“PETA doesn't want stressed animals to be cruelly crowded into sheds, ankle-deep in their own crap, because they don't want any animals to die-ever-and basically think chickens should, in time, gain the right to vote. I don't want animals stressed or crowded or treated cruelly or inhumanely because that makes them probably less delicious.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook

“I lurched away from the table after a few hours feeling like Elvis in Vegas - fat, drugged, and completely out of it.”
― Anthony Bourdain

“There’s something wonderful about drinking in the afternoon. A not-too-cold pint, absolutely alone at the bar – even in this fake-ass Irish pub.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook

“Breathe in, breathe out, move on...”
― Jimmy Buffett

“It's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.”
― Jimmy Buffett

“Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!”
― Jimmy Buffett

“Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.”
― Jimmy Buffett

“My occupational hazard is my occupation's just not around...”
― Jimmy Buffett

“The only thing that is still free in this world is religion, which is why a lot of people "find it.”
― Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks at Fifty

“I just want to live happily ever after, every now and then.”
― Jimmy Buffett

“You know Death will get you in the end, but if you are smart and have a sense of humor, you can thumb your nose at it for awhile”
― Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks at Fifty

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry.”
― Jack Kerouac

“The only truth is music.”
― Jack Kerouac

“What's in store for me in the direction I don't take?”
― Jack Kerouac

“As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind.”
― Jack Kerouac

“As far as I'm concerned the only thing to do is sit in a room and get drunk”
― Jack Kerouac

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
― steve martin

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
― Steve Martin

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
― Steve Martin

“I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...”
― Steve Martin

“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”
― Douglas Adams