MayDerp > MayDerp's Quotes

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#1

“I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, demons, growing-up, humor, jace-wayland, luke, teenager

12359 likes

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#2

“Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

tags: flirting, humor

3951 likes

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#3

“I hate Brooklyn.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: brooklyn, hate, jace-wayland, mortal-instruments, new-york-city

287 likes

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#4

“Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?"
"If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary, clothes, jace, wounds

12652 likes

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#5

“My rapier wit hides my inner pain.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: humor, jace-wayland, the-mortal-instruments, tmi

2781 likes

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#6

“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

19600 likes

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#7

“Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission."
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
"Selling them on what?"
Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, ebay, jace-wayland, myth

9767 likes

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#8

“We came to see Jace. Is he alright?"
"I don't know," Magnus said. "Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, magnus-bane

10387 likes

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#9

“You see, cuckoos are parasites. They lay their eggs in other birds' nests. When the egg hatches, the baby cuckoo pushes the other baby birds out of the nest. The poor parent birds work themselves to death trying to find enough food to feed the enormous cuckoo child who has murdered their babies and taken their places."
"Enormous?" said Jace. "Did you just call me fat?"
"It was an analogy."
"I am not fat.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

4302 likes

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#10

“One of the Silent Brothers is here to see you. Hodge sent me to wake you up. Actually he offered to wake you himself, but since it's 5 a.m., I figured you'd be less cranky if you had something nice to look at."
"Meaning you?"
"What else?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

5136 likes

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#11

“May Starclan light your path.”
― Erin Hunter

tags: starclan, warriors

373 likes

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#12

“Before there is peace, blood will spill blood, and the lake will run red.”
― Erin Hunter, Sunset

300 likes

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#13

“You cannot live with a paw in each world.”
― Erin Hunter, Into the Wild

tags: cats

934 likes

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#14

“Now Darkstripe,' Graypaw hissed to Firepaw under his breath, 'is neither young, nor pretty.”
― Erin Hunter

tags: humor, warriors

317 likes

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#15

“Fire will save the Clan”
― Erin Hunter, Twilight

344 likes

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#16

“Four will Become Two, Lion and Tiger will Meet in Battle, and Blood will Rule the Forest.”
― Erin Hunter, A Dangerous Path

499 likes

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#17

“Think you have nine lives, do you? I saved you once.... don't make me save you again.”
― Erin Hunter, Moonrise

tags: crowfeather, feathertail

257 likes

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#18

“I am a man" he told her, "and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: brown, city-of-glass, clare, isabelle, jace

7001 likes

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#19

“Is this the part where you say if I hurt her, you'll kill me?"
"No" Simon said, "If you hurt Clary she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: city-of-glass, jace, simon

6876 likes

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#20

“Sakura...Thank you.”
― Masashi Kishimoto

tags: uchiha

17 likes

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#21

“Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues.”
― Justin Somper, Black Heart

tags: comical, connor, funny, vampirates

32 likes

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#22

“She remembered Grace telling her about Lorcan's evasiveness when she'd first joined the Noctourne-his ability to speak without saying anything, to talk in riddles.

He's a conundrum, thought Cheng Li. A walking, talking conundrum”
― Justin Somper, Black Heart

tags: cheng-li, conundrum, humor, vampirates

14 likes

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#23

“ A woman's touch?!' he repeated, 'What is he thinking hermano?

Stukeley frowned. ''Captain doesn't know whether it's dinnertime or doomsday, mate. That's the state Lady Losckwood's got him in.We'be tried to talk some sense into him, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. IT's not as if he had much of an attention span to begin with, but since Lady Muck came on to the scene...”
― Justin Somper, Black Heart

tags: humor, stukeley, vamirates

6 likes

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#24

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm

15187 likes

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#25

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

tags: mischief

37404 likes

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#26

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: hermione

13656 likes

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#27

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

tags: harry-potter, humor, james-potter, remus-lupin, sirius-black, snape, wormtail

10351 likes

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#28

“Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: humor

6007 likes

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#29

“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor

4273 likes

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#30

“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor, shampoo

10186 likes

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Tags From MayDerp’s Quotes

clary-fray
demons
growing-up
humor
jace-wayland
luke
teenager
flirting
brooklyn
hate
mortal-instruments
new-york-city
clary
clothes
jace
wounds
the-mortal-instruments
tmi
ebay
myth
magnus-bane
starclan
warriors
cats
crowfeather
feathertail
brown
city-of-glass
clare
isabelle
simon
uchiha
comical
connor
funny
vampirates
cheng-li
conundrum
stukeley
vamirates
rebellion
sarcasm
mischief
hermione
harry-potter
james-potter
remus-lupin
sirius-black
snape
wormtail
shampoo