Hilary > Hilary's Quotes

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#1

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing

9636 likes

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#2

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
― Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity

12680 likes

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#3

“My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”
― Janet Evanovich

502 likes

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#4

“To educate a person in the mind but not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

tags: character, education, morality

1015 likes

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#5

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: disapproval, humor, wordplay

1425 likes

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#6

“My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA!"
-- Skippyjon Jones (In his very best Spanish accent)”
― Judy Schachner

tags: chihuahua, childrens-book, humor, siamese-cat, spanish

87 likes

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#7

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Steve Jobs

68186 likes

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#8

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30246 likes

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#9

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

tags: friendship, love

23057 likes

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#10

“You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.”
― Ray Bradbury

tags: culture, reading

11720 likes

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#11

“People can lose their lives in libraries. They ought to be warned.”
― Saul Bellow

tags: book-lovers, libraries, reading

3616 likes

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#12

“In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”
― Mark Twain

tags: bookroom, books, libraries, wisdom

10427 likes

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#13

“My youngest brother had a wonderful schtick from some time in high school, through to graduating medicine. He had a card in his wallet that read, ‘If I am found with amnesia, please give me the following books to read …’ And it listed half a dozen books where he longed to recapture that first glorious sense of needing to find out ‘what happens next’ … the feeling that keeps you up half the night. The feeling that comes before the plot’s been learned.”
― Guy Gavriel Kay

tags: books, reading

234 likes

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#14

“If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, simplicity, understand

31242 likes

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#15

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: friends, humor, jail

10181 likes

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#16

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
― Neil Gaiman

11127 likes

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#17

“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
― Albert Einstein

8286 likes

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#18

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7534 likes

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#19

“I want to grow old without facelifts. I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made.”
― Marilyn Monroe

3233 likes

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#20

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: music

5042 likes

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#21

“Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.

tags: inspirational, life

4332 likes

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#22

“Don't Panic.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: h2g2, hitchhiker-s-guide, humor, panic

4705 likes

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#23

“What I say is, a town isn’t a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it’s got a bookstore, it knows it’s not foolin’ a soul.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

tags: books, bookstore, towns

5388 likes

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#24

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
― Bill Cosby

tags: humor-parenting

194 likes

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#25

“Genius is neither learned nor acquired.
It is knowing without experience.
It is risking without fear of failure.
It is perception without touch.
It is understanding without research.
It is certainty without proof.
It is ability without practice.
It is invention without limitations.
It is imagination without boundaries.
It is creativity without constraints.
It is...extraordinary intelligence!”
― Patricia Polacco

tags: genius

47 likes

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#26

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: attributed-no-source, dreams, love, reality, sleep

127101 likes

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#27

“On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.”
― David Ogilvy

tags: 2fresh, advertising, david-ogilvy

32 likes

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#28

“Letmeoutletme
outletmeoutletmeout.
Wait--let me back in!
...
Letmeinletme
inletmeinletmein.
Wait--let me back out!”
― Lee Wardlaw, Won-Ton: A Cat Tale Told in Haiku

tags: cats, haiku

9 likes

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#29

“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim.”
― Lyndon B. Johnson

tags: humor-president

46 likes

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#31

“Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

tags: bride, funny, humor, movie, princess

1928 likes

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humor
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insanity
character
education
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