Quotes - Somebody (The United States) Showing 1-29 of 29

#1

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

#2

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor

3633 likes

#3

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
― Bill Watterson

5432 likes

#4

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: bad-day, calvin-and-hobbes, luck

2893 likes

#5

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

2726 likes

#6

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

tags: idiots, life-humor

2367 likes

#7

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: friends

1681 likes

#8

“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, comic, education, funny, school

1203 likes

#9

“I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, genius, misunderstood

1060 likes

#10

“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
― Bill Watterson

787 likes

#11

“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.”
― Bill Watterson, Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"

566 likes

#12

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, dumb, humor, information, school

529 likes

#13

“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

426 likes

#14

“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, guilt

466 likes

#15

“I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

395 likes

#16

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”
― Bill Watterson

357 likes

#17

“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, insufficiency

226 likes

#18

“A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”
― Bill Watterson, There's Treasure Everywhere

tags: avoidance, calvin, calvin-and-hobbes, procrastination

307 likes

#19

“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin, calvin-and-hobbes, comic, comic-strips, comics, hobbes, humor, kids, nature

203 likes

#20

“Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

131 likes

#21

“County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

126 likes

#22

“I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

66 likes

#23

“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

67 likes

#24

“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: adam-gottbetter, calvin, calvin-and-hobbes, comic, comics, dreams-calvin-and-hobbes, genes, genetics, hobbes, kids

136 likes

#25

“Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet”
― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages, 1985-1995: An Exhibition Catalogue

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, karl-marx, philosophy, television

77 likes

#26

“Scientific Progress goes boink?”
― Bill Waterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

41 likes

#27

“Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

-Hobbes”
― Bill Watterson

tags: advice, calvin-and-hobbes, humor

44 likes

#28

“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

37 likes

#29

“I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

33 likes

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