Tim Higdon > Tim's Quotes

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  • #1
    H.L. Mencken
    “Where is the graveyard of dead gods? What lingering mourner waters their mounds? There was a time when Jupiter was the king of the gods, and any man who doubted his puissance was ipso facto a barbarian and an ignoramus. But where in all the world is there a man who worships Jupiter today? And who of Huitzilopochtli? In one year - and it is no more than five hundred years ago - 50,000 youths and maidens were slain in sacrifice to him. Today, if he is remembered at all, it is only by some vagrant savage in the depths of the Mexican forest. Huitzilopochtli, like many other gods, had no human father; his mother was a virtuous widow; he was born of an apparently innocent flirtation that she carried out with the sun.

    When he frowned, his father, the sun, stood still. When he roared with rage, earthquakes engulfed whole cities. When he thirsted he was watered with 10,000 gallons of human blood. But today Huitzilopochtli is as magnificently forgotten as Allen G. Thurman. Once the peer of Allah, Buddha and Wotan, he is now the peer of Richmond P. Hobson, Alton B. Parker, Adelina Patti, General Weyler and Tom Sharkey.

    Speaking of Huitzilopochtli recalls his brother Tezcatlipoca. Tezcatlipoca was almost as powerful; he consumed 25,000 virgins a year.

    Lead me to his tomb: I would weep, and hang a couronne des perles. But who knows where it is? Or where the grave of Quetzalcoatl is? Or Xiuhtecuhtli? Or Centeotl, that sweet one? Or Tlazolteotl, the goddess of love? Of Mictlan? Or Xipe? Or all the host of Tzitzimitl? Where are their bones? Where is the willow on which they hung their harps? In what forlorn and unheard-of Hell do they await their resurrection morn? Who enjoys their residuary estates? Or that of Dis, whom Caesar found to be the chief god of the Celts? Of that of Tarves, the bull? Or that of Moccos, the pig? Or that of Epona, the mare? Or that of Mullo, the celestial jackass? There was a time when the Irish revered all these gods, but today even the drunkest Irishman laughs at them.

    But they have company in oblivion: the Hell of dead gods is as crowded
    as the Presbyterian Hell for babies. Damona is there, and Esus, and
    Drunemeton, and Silvana, and Dervones, and Adsullata, and Deva, and
    Bellisima, and Uxellimus, and Borvo, and Grannos, and Mogons. All mighty gods in their day, worshipped by millions, full of demands and impositions, able to bind and loose - all gods of the first class. Men labored for generations to build vast temples to them - temples with stones as large as hay-wagons.

    The business of interpreting their whims occupied thousands of priests,
    bishops, archbishops. To doubt them was to die, usually at the stake.
    Armies took to the field to defend them against infidels; villages were burned, women and children butchered, cattle were driven off. Yet in the end they all withered and died, and today there is none so poor to do them reverence.

    What has become of Sutekh, once the high god of the whole Nile Valley? What has become of:
    Resheph
    Anath
    Ashtoreth
    El
    Nergal
    Nebo
    Ninib
    Melek
    Ahijah
    Isis
    Ptah
    Anubis
    Baal
    Astarte
    Hadad
    Addu
    Shalem
    Dagon
    Sharaab
    Yau
    Amon-Re
    Osiris
    Sebek
    Molech?

    All there were gods of the highest eminence. Many of them are mentioned with fear and trembling in the Old Testament. They ranked, five or six thousand years ago, with Yahweh Himself; the worst of them stood far higher than Thor. Yet they have all gone down the chute, and with them the following:
    Bilé
    Ler
    Arianrhod
    Morrigu
    Govannon
    Gunfled
    Sokk-mimi
    Nemetona
    Dagda
    Robigus
    Pluto
    Ops
    Meditrina
    Vesta

    You may think I spoof. That I invent the names. I do not. Ask the rector to lend you any good treatise on comparative religion: You will find them all listed. They were gods of the highest standing and dignity-gods of civilized peoples-worshiped and believed in by millions. All were omnipotent, omniscient and immortal.

    And all are dead.”
    H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy

  • #2
    Justin Halpern
    “That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #3
    Justin Halpern
    “No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry..”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #4
    Justin Halpern
    “There seem to be a lot of gay people there...Oh please, as if that's what I meant by that. Trust me, none of them would ever want to fuck you anyway. They're gay, not blind.”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #5
    Justin Halpern
    “You say you’re sick, huh? Well, it looks like you’ve come down with a case of bullshit.”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #6
    Justin Halpern
    “You're ten years old now, you have to take a shower every day...I don't give a shit if you hate it. People hate smelly fuckers. I will not have a smelly fucker for a son.”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #7
    Justin Halpern
    “On Accidentally Eating Dog Treats
    “Snausages? I’ve been eating dog treats? Why the fuck would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? Fuck it, they’re delicious. I will not be shamed by this.”
    Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

  • #8
    John Wooden
    “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”
    John Wooden

  • #9
    John Wooden
    “Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them.”
    John Wooden, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court

  • #10
    John Wooden
    “Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating...too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.”
    John Wooden, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court

  • #11
    John Wooden
    “Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.”
    John Wooden



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