Kat Desi > Kat's Quotes

“If only he would keep his mouth shut, he'd be perfect. A piece of duct tape would do the trick. I had some in my desk that I'd occasionally pull out and fondle, hoping someday I could put it to good use.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“The look in her eyes told me that under any other circumstances, I would either already be naked with her on top of me, or lying in a pool of my own blood on the rug.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“So here were the facts: I felt possessive of her. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a "hit her over the head, drag her off by the hair, and fuck her" way. Like she was my toy and I was keeping the other boys in the sandbox from playing with her. How sick was that? If she ever heard me admit to that, she would cut off my balls and feed them to me.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“I was thinking, 'Highly fuckable intern, twelve o'clock. Disengage, soldier. I repeat, disengage”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“Okay, when you smile at me like that, I want to climb. And God knows it's been forever since I've been properly manhandled.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Stranger

“I woke up when my pillow was yanked out from under my head and Chloe mumbled something incoherent about spinach and hot dogs. The woman was a sleep-talking, restless bed hog.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“Will whistled quietly. 'She sounds fantastic. But I can't imagine why she'd be interested in your dick. With that tiny thing you'll never be half the man your Mother is.',”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Stranger

“Sometimes I wonder how long I've actually loved you.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“The flirting is all well and good, but I mean it when I tell you, I can't have you leaving me again. It almost broke me.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“She walked to the door in her fucking underwear, and opened it a crack before turning and sprinting into her bedroom, leaving me to greet the intruders. What in the actual fuck.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bitch

“It’s about finding the woman who gets you thinking. She’ll be the one who’ll change your mind about everything.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Player

“Ben,” Max said, leaning back in his chair with a giant grin. “It’s finally happened.”
I groaned, resting my head on my hand.
“You got your period?” Bennett asked. “Congratulations.”
“No, you twat,” Max said, laughing. “I’m talking about Will. He’s gone arse over tits for a girl.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Player

“How insane would it have been to know Chloe in my early twenties? We would have torn this place up, and probably lasted only a weekend. Isn't it amazing how you meet the person you're meant to meet, when you're supposed to meet her?”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bitch

“I suspect I would do almost anything for you,”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Stranger

“Here to show me how to grow a penis so I can get the job done?"
"Chloe, I'm pretty sure if you wanted to grow one, you could do it by will alone."
"I'd grow one just so I could ask you to suck on it.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bitch

“Mackenzie raises her hand proudly. “I have a bagina.”
I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. And someday, it’s gonna help you rule the world.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Newsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“It’s simple guy logic: If a woman is angry? It means she cares. If you’re in a relationship and a chick can’t even be bothered to yell at you? You’re screwed. Indifference is a woman’s kiss of death. It’s the equivalent of a man not interested in sex. In either case—it’s over. You’re done.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Women fall in love quicker than men. Easier and more often. But when guys fall? We go down harder. And when things go bad? When it's not us who ends it? We don't get to walk away.
We crawl.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“It makes me want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. I’ve never been into S&M. But I’m beginning to see its benefits.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Then I flip Kate the finger. Immature, I know, but apparently we’re now both functioning at the preschool level, so I’m guessing it’s okay. Kate sneers at me. Then she mouths, You wish. Well—she’s got me there, now doesn’t she?”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“The point is, when you ask, “What do you want for dinner?” we’re thinking about screwing you on the kitchen counter. When you’re telling us about the sappy film you watched with your girlfriends last week, we’re thinking about the porno we saw on cable last night. When you show us the designer shoes you bought on sale, we’re thinking how nice they would look on our shoulders.

I just thought you’d want to know. Don’t shoot the messenger”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“For those ladies out there who are listening, let me give you some free advice: If a guy who you just met at a club calls you baby, sweetheart, angel, or any other generic endearment? Don’t make the mistake of thinking he’s so into you, he’s already thinking up pet names.

It’s because he can’t or doesn’t care to remember your actual name.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Remember when I said all guys talk to their friends about sex?
Well, we do.
But no guy talks to his friends about sex with his girlfriend. Ever.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“How many wives have told their husbands, “I’m fine,” when they really mean, “I want to cut your balls off with a butcher knife”? How many men have told their girlfriends, “You look fine,” when they really mean, “You need to go back to the gym and work out—a lot.” It’s the universal way of saying we’re just peachy—when we’re really anything but.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Oh, and I’m never going to lie to you again.”
Ever.
I mean it.

Ten years from now, if Kate asks me if a certain pair of jeans makes her ass look fat—and they do? I’m going to take my life in my hands and say yes.

I swear.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Why do women always do this? Why are they so eager to blame themselves when someone treats them like sh*t? A guy would take a cheese grater to his tongue before admitting he screwed up.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“God, she’s beautiful. I mean, look at her. She’s like a volcano going off—fierce and fiery and breathtaking. If she doesn’t find a way to ugly herself down, I’m going to be spending an awful lot of time pissing her off. Which might not be such a bad thing in the end. Angry sex is awesome.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Every healthy man in the world wakes up with a stiffy. A fatty. Morning wood. I’m sure there’s some medical explanation for the phenomenon, but I just like to think of it as a little present from God.

A chance to begin the day with your best dick forward.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled