Humor Relationships Quotes

“Did you just kiss me?" Will inquired.
Magnus made a slip-second decision. "No."
"I thought-"
"On occasion the aftereffects of the painkilling spells can result in hallucinations of the most bizarre sort."
"Oh," Will said. "How peculiar.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.”
― John Green

“When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?”
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

“Vin: I don't know -- and it's all your fault, you know. I used to understand everything. Now it's all confused.

Kelsier: Yes, we've messed you up right properly.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“I wish I could print up a sign and tape it on my forehead. I OFFICIALLY DO NOT WANT TO KISS ETHAN WATE. NOW PLEASE LET ME BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.”
― Kami Garcia, Beautiful Chaos

“Boyfriend huh? I didn't realize we had taken things to that level."
"Oh, I'm sorry--this is my first undercover operation," Jordan said. "I'm a little unclear about the rules. Are we seeing other people in this fake relationship?”
― Julie James, A Lot like Love

“Names.
What’s in a name, really? I mean, besides a bunch of
letters or sounds strung together to make a word. Does a
rose by any other name really smell as sweet? Would the
most famous love story in the world be as poignant if it was
called Romeo and Gertrude? Why is what we call
ourselves so important?”
― Julie Kagawa, Summer's Crossing

“Clay, if anyone followed anyone, it was me tagging along after you. I didn’t dare order you around.”

“Load of shit,” he muttered, but she thought she heard a softening in his tone. “You fucking made me attend tea parties.”

She remembered his threat before the first one: “Tell anyone and I’ll eat you and use your bones as toothpicks.”

~ Talin and Clay dialogue”
― Nalini Singh, Mine to Possess

“He was uncomplicated and upbeat and easy. At one point, I might have thought these traits made him a simpleton, but now I think they just translate to happiness.”
― Emily Giffin, Baby Proof

“I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero.”
― Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

“Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“It was this feminine conspiracy which made Southern society so pleasant. Women knew that a land where men were contented, uncontradicted ans safe in possession of unpunctured vanity was likely to be a very pleasant place for women to live. So, from the cradle to the grave, women strove to make men pleased with themselves, and the satisfied men repaid lavishly with gallantry and adoration. In fact, men willingly gave ladies everything in the world except credit for having intelligence.”
― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

“Crying all the time had made her more beautiful. Grief will do that sometimes. Not for me. Loretta had left months ago and I still looked like hell.”
― Junot Díaz, Drown

“Just because you're in the market for a minivan doesn't mean you can't test drive a hotrod.”
― Inez Kelley, Sweet as Sin

“Every letter was a love letter. Of course, as love letters went, this one could have been better. It was not very promising, for instance, that Madeleine claimed not to want to see him for the next half-century.”
― Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot

“I smile quietly. She is with me all the time. I feel stupid now, for not seeing it sooner. But hey, at least we'll have this strange story to tell, love and death and blood and daddy-issues. And holy crap, I am a psychiatrist's wet dream."- Cas Lowood, Anna Dressed in Blood”
― Kendare Blake, Anna Dressed in Blood

“She threw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.”
― Anne Taintor

“I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.”
― Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove

“I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.”
― David Sedaris

“How did I dance with a guy who's never heard of feminism?"
"I've heard of it, but that doesn't mean a woman can do everything a man can do," he goaded. I went to smack him on the back of his head, but he ducked with a snicker."I'm learning," he informed me. "How did I ever consider dating such a violent girl?"
"We're both lucky we got out early before we really knew each other."
"Oh yes, good thing neither one of is still interested in the other," Brent said with a playful grin.”
― Lani Woodland, Intrinsical

“I see uncool people!”
― Tonya Hurley, Ghostgirl

“She spoke under her breath to Nick. "Is there a reason he's only wearing one sock?" "He puked on his foot." "Oh." She turned back to Huxley. "Can we get you another sock? Maybe a blanket or something?”
― Julie James, A Lot like Love

“No more sex."

I blink several times at Anna as we stand outside the car the next morning. Have we been married long enough for her to say that?”
― Wendy Higgins, Sweet Temptation

“Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure?”
― Anne Taintor

“either love me or leave me alone."
— jay-z”
― Jay-Z, Decoded

“You‟re my mate. Think you can handle that?”
It was hard to speak with her heart bursting open. “Think you can handle me?”
“So long as you're gentle with me.”"
Emmett to Ria - Whisper of sin”
― Nalini Singh, Burning Up

“I suppose you're right about some perspectives. Just a few weeks ago, I thought you were a dickhead.”
― Mary E. Pearson, The Adoration of Jenna Fox

“What's your favorite movie?...that should be our question. When we don't know what to say. Movies are a safe topic. What's wrong with the standard 'how's it going?' because all you get is 'Okay' or 'Fine', and then what? You're back where you started. It's a useless question. Like anyone is going to tell you how it's really going.”
― Lisa Schroeder, Sprinkles and Secrets