Esmé > Esmé's Quotes

“I responded to this development with the kind of sophisticated language for which I am famous. "Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid crap.”
― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours. In my bedroom.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens.
1. It is cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in you brain gets the readings and says, "I can't deal with this. I'm out of here." It puts up the OUT TO LUNCH sign and passes all responsibility to the...
2. Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof, which gets all this gobbledygook from the temperature department that it can't understand. "This is so not our job," it says. So it just starts hitting random buttons, filling you with strange and unpleasant sensations, and calls the...
3. Office of Confusion and Panic, where there is always someone ready to hop on the phone the moment it rings. This office is at least willing to take some action. The Office of Confusion and Panic loves hitting buttons.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“I laughed and pointed out that "Hash Browns Mean Nothing Without You" was a pretty good name for a band.
"Or a song," the Duke said, and then she started singing all glam rock, a glove up to her face holding an imaginary mic as she rocked out an a cappella power ballad. "Oh, I deep fried for you / But now I weep 'n' cry for you / Oh, babe, this meal was made for two / And these hash browns mean nothing, oh these hash browns mean nothing, yeah these HASH BROWNS MEAN NOTHIN' without you.”
― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“If by that you mean that I dislike celebrity magazines, prefer food to anorexia, refuse to watch TV shows about models, and hate the color pink, then yes. I am proud to be not really a girl.”
― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“I followed your footsteps," he said, in answer to the unspoken question. "Snow makes it easy."
I had been tracked, like a bear.
"Sorry to make you go to all that trouble," I said.
"I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops."
A really inept bear.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Stuart's a wizard with those kinds of things," she said.
"What kinds of things?"
"Oh, he can find anything online."
Debbie was obviously one of those parents who still hadn't quite grasped that using the Internet was not exactly wizardry, and that we could all find anything online. I didn't say this, because you don't want people to feel that they've missed something really obvious, even when they have.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Oh my God!" said one of the Ambers. "Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow?"
She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Have some nice hot chocolate, something to eat, cuddle up under a blanket..."

Under any other circumstances, I would have assumed that that last sentence meant, "Cuddle up under two separate blankets, spaced several feet apart, possibly with a lightly chained wolf between you," because that's what parents always mean.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“I envisioned huge piles of the Elf Hotel flying off the belt, taking down everybody in sight. I had seen pictures of that Elf Hotel - it had sharp candy-cane spires that could easily impale someone. If anyone was ever going to be killed by an Elf Hotel, it would be my parents.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“I could envision it all to clearly: Stuart or Debbie finding the dented door off its hinges, lying in the snow. "She came in, ravaged the boy, stole plastic bags, and ripped off the door in her escape," the police would say in the APB. "Probably making her way to bust her parents out of jail.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“It took about three minutes for the unassuming Waffle House to become the new offices of the law firm of Amber, Amber, Amber, and Madison. They set up camp in a clump of booths in the corner opposite from us. A few of them gave me an "oh, good, you are still alive" nod, but for the most part, they had no interest in anyone else.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Before I take you into the beating heart of the story, let’s get one thing out of the way. I know from experience that when it comes up later, it will distract you so much that you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else I will tell you. My name is Jubilee Dougal. Take a moment and let it sink in.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“What tinfoil?" he asked.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn't be this big awkward thing whether you're straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I'm just saying.”
― Becky Albertalli, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda