Macullen > Macullen's Quotes

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
― Bill Gates

“Pussy is sweeter than honey and more valuable than money.”
― Mary B. Morrison

“Pussy punch: when a twat tap just isn't enough”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?”
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron King

“you boys can keep your virgins
give me hot old women in high heels
with asses that forgot to get old.”
― Charles Bukowski, Love Is a Dog from Hell

“I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw,”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I quickly tried to do the math but my brain was a jumbled mess and I couldn’t remember what number comes after potato!”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I remember that night fondly. And by fondly, I mean with bitter resentment toward all things alcoholic and with a penis.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Who keeps putting alcohol in my alcohol?”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I shouldn't be allowed to think when I'm drinking.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder." Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Your tits are like Bounty. The quicker dick picker upper.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Granted, she was obviously one lick away from riding the short bus”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother.       “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.”     Bullshit.   I CALL BULLSHIT.   Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit.   Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis.   It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out.   Who in their right mind would do that willingly?   You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately” Carter muttered.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn’t even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get drunk and look like a stroke victim.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
― Elbert Hubbard

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte

“A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”
― Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom: A Pocket Oracle