Susan > Susan's Quotes

“I'm so bored I could do something, but can't be arsed. I'm unmotivated as well as bored. It's a killer combination.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“...the secret of a good relationship is to accept and enjoy what the other person is willing to offer instead of yearning for something they can't or won't give.”
― Gillibran Brown, More Fun With Dick And Shane

“If rumours are true a snail’s sex organs are located on the back of its head, how about that eh? It gives a whole new meaning to having your brains fucked out, no wonder their eyes are out on stalks.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“Bloody Bears, don't bother getting one as a pet, they're too demanding and they shed everywhere.”
― Gillibran Brown, More Fun With Dick And Shane

“I glared at him. “You didn't leave me alone for five minutes, you left me alone for a week. I could have hacked myself to pieces if there's been more than one mango in the house. You could have come home to a very gory scene. The press would have had a field day ... Gay Houseboy In Mango Tragedy. Bears arrested for leaving cub unattended for seven, almost eight whole days with an armed and dangerous killer mango roaming loose about the house.”
“I'd mercifully forgotten just how much of a loquacious tripe peddler you can be,” Shane took me by the shoulders and kissed me on the lips...”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“When I was done raking and bagging, I banged on the door and demanded entry /...let me in by the hair on your chinny, chin-chin/ (a fairytale moment there) Dick opened it and in his posthest voice, said that before he could possibly consider letting me re-cross the threshold he needed to ask me whether I was a good f*cking fairy or a bad f*cking fairy? Grinning, I told him that I was very wicked fairy and if he had a wand about his person that I could have lend of, I would prove it. He said that was the right answer and promptly yanked me inside where he located and presented me with his wand, breathily ordering the sorcerer's apprentice to perform magic with it. Judging by the look on his face afterwards, I knew I'd impressed him with my oral sorcery and I was more than happy with the short-lifting sorcery Shane performed on me as the same time.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“Dick is playing golf today. He asked if I would caddie for him, but I said I would prefer to have a complete stranger walk up and drill holes in my head with a Black & Decker.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“Everybody in the world has a nice smile, but the ones you love have the nicest smiles of all.”
― Gillibran Brown

“Shane raised his brows when he set eyes on my apron. “Been roped into galley duties?” “Nah. I slaughtered Leo with an electric carving knife. I put this on so I could dismember his body without mucking up my t-shirt.”
― Gillibran Brown, Christmas at Leo's

“I have a free wheeling mind with dodgy brakes. Once I start going downhill I find it hard to stop and usually end up going over the handlebars.”
― Gillibran Brown

“I’m gay.” There was a long pause after my revelation, then. “Are you sure?” “Of course I’m fucking sure. Why else would I say it? I’m a nance, a poof, a queer, a shit stabber.” There was an embarrassed silence. “Don’t worry. It isn’t catching.” I struggled out of the deckchair. “You don’t have to be friends with me anymore.” “Sorry, Gil. I dunno what to say.” He raked at his hair. “Do you fancy me then?” “No.” “Why not?” “Cos you’re fucking ugly. Look, Lee. Being gay doesn’t mean you fancy every lad you clap eyes on. You don’t fancy every lass you meet.”
― Gillibran Brown, Christmas at Leo's

“The door stayed closed and Shane heartlessly
bawled that I was to do as bidden and go to bed in the single room. I
stepped up my campaign. Dropping to my knees I rested my forehead
against the door beseeching and wailing: "please, please don’t make me
sleep alone, Daddy, don’t make me go back in there. There’s things
under the bed, evil things with fangs and a taste for boy blood. Daddy
please, I’m frightened. They’re coming, let me in! They’re coming for
me! DADDY, save me!"
I fell flat on my face as the door was suddenly flung open,
fortunately the men folk were laughing too much to do anything other
than call me a tiresome brat and put me under tickle torture.”
― Gillibran Brown, More Fun With Dick And Shane

“All too often I try to skate away from the things I'm afraid of and things I don't like and am unwilling to accept. I'm selfish and difficult to handle. I give my men cause for concern. I worry them, but they haven't given up on me yet and I love them all the more for it.”
― Gillibran Brown, Gilliflowers

“Sorry Miss”
― Gillibran Brown