Susan

“Dick is playing golf today. He asked if I would caddie for him, but I said I would prefer to have a complete stranger walk up and drill holes in my head with a Black & Decker.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane

“Shane raised his brows when he set eyes on my apron. “Been roped into galley duties?” “Nah. I slaughtered Leo with an electric carving knife. I put this on so I could dismember his body without mucking up my t-shirt.”
― Gillibran Brown, Christmas at Leo's

“All too often I try to skate away from the things I'm afraid of and things I don't like and am unwilling to accept. I'm selfish and difficult to handle. I give my men cause for concern. I worry them, but they haven't given up on me yet and I love them all the more for it.”
― Gillibran Brown, Gilliflowers

“The door stayed closed and Shane heartlessly
bawled that I was to do as bidden and go to bed in the single room. I
stepped up my campaign. Dropping to my knees I rested my forehead
against the door beseeching and wailing: "please, please don’t make me
sleep alone, Daddy, don’t make me go back in there. There’s things
under the bed, evil things with fangs and a taste for boy blood. Daddy
please, I’m frightened. They’re coming, let me in! They’re coming for
me! DADDY, save me!"
I fell flat on my face as the door was suddenly flung open,
fortunately the men folk were laughing too much to do anything other
than call me a tiresome brat and put me under tickle torture.”
― Gillibran Brown, More Fun With Dick And Shane