Kendall > Kendall's Quotes

“Life is for the living.
Death is for the dead.
Let life be like music.
And death a note unsaid.”
― Langston Hughes, The Collected Poems

“Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.”
― Langston Hughes

“It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion”
― Walt Disney

“Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying”
― Walt Disney

“Don't knock finding nemo," Xavier teased, taking the DVD from my grasp. "It's a modern classic."
"Is it seriously about fish?"
"Yeah, but really cool fish.”
― Alexandra Adornetto, Heaven

“Just keep swimming.”
― Dory

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

“I didn’t know what to do for my project so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt just hoping that she’d know I’m an idiot and just walk right on past me just as long as I was holding something.

“What do you have there, Brian?”

“It’s a cup of dirt. Just put an ‘F’ on it there and let me go home.”

“Well, explain it.”

“Well, it’s a cup with dirt in it. I call it ‘Cup of Dirt.’ You should move on now. Just go ahead and move on. Head on down the line there.”
― Brian Regan, Live

“I" before "E" except after "C" and when sounding like "A" as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!!”
― Brian Regan

“I have to lay off dairy though. That's what my doctor threw in. As I was leaving his office, "Oh, and uh, leave off dairy." What kind of blanket sweep is that? "And no more happiness! Away with you!”
― Brian Regan

“A serving size on ice cream is like a half a cup. Is that like a joke some guy put on there? "Hey, come here: look what I put for the serving size. Did you see? I just did it as a joke but they're going out like that." You ever know anybody to eat a half a cup of ice cream? "Hey, you wanna go grab something to eat?" "Ah, no. I had a half a cup of ice cream. Ya, a whole half a cup. I just kept eating and eating and eating. I must've had two spoonfuls.”
― Brian Regan

“I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.”

“You, too. But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity.” That’s all I’m trying to say.”
― Brian Regan

“THE BIG YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN!!!”
― Brian Regan

“is there any I could get a glass of water?"
[waiter]There is no way... I toss and turn many a night trying to think up some way some how I could get glasses of water to costomers but I keep coming up empty..... Legend has it there was a waiter here many years ago... who had figured out a way to do just that but he is long gone and with him the secret. It had something to do with a glass rack and a faucet but no one has been able to put the pieces together so I must say no there is no way. HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY!!!”
― Brian Regan