Toni > Toni's Quotes

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“I heard this girl worked for Bishop,' said one of the guys, who had a tire iron resting on his shoulder. 'Carrying around his death warrants. Like one of those Nazi collaborators.'

'You heard wrong,' Shane said. 'She’s my girl. Now back off.'

'Let’s hear from her,' said the leader of the pack, and locked stares with Claire. 'So? You working for the vamps?'

Shane sent her a quick, warning glance.

Claire took in a deep breath and said, 'Absolutely.'

'Ah hell,' Shane breathed. 'Okay, then. Run.”
― Rachel Caine, Fade Out

“Not nearly enough. Not recently, anyway.” And she was sad about that.
“I know,” he said, and kissed the back of her hand. “We’ll fix it. Get some sleep.”
“Night,” she said, and watched him walk toward the door. “Hey. How’d you get in?”
He wiggled his fingers at her in a spooky oogie-boogie pantomime. “I’m a vampire. I have secret powers ,” he said with a full-on fake Transylvanian accent, which he dropped to say, “Actually, your mom let me in.”
“Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?”
He shrugged. “Moms like me.”
He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door.”
― Rachel Caine, Carpe Corpus

“Run first,' Shane said. 'Mourn later.'
It was the perfect motto for Morganville.”
― Rachel Caine, Glass Houses

“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"

"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"

And what?" (Michael)

When did you get home?" Claire demanded.

Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane”
― Rachel Caine, Glass Houses

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know."

"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."

"I so wish you hadn't said that.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”
― Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance

“Claire: So we do nothing?
Michael: We do the best nothing you've ever seen.”
― Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance

“Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl”
― Rachel Caine, Carpe Corpus

“What about Myrnin?'
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

“No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

“I don’t see a way in,” Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?” Myrnin whispered back. “Vampires can hear us, anyway.”
― Rachel Caine, Fade Out

“Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

“Silence, and then Eve said, "Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

“Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“My rapier wit hides my inner pain.”
― Cassandra Clare

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

“Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
― Cassandra Clare