Kaitlyn > Kaitlyn's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 56

« previous 1 2 next »

#1

“Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane."
"They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down."
"Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed."
Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: consul, humor, magnus-bane, sarcasm

7819 likes

#2

“It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, jace-wayland, sarcasm

9245 likes

#3

“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary, jace, sarcasm

7911 likes

#4

“Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?"
"Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are."
"What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?"
"Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, jace-wayland, joke, mummies, sarcasm, vampire, werewolf, zombies

3942 likes

#5

“Don't tell me," Jace said, "Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something about it before Isabelle makes him into a stole. Well, you'll have have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission." He pointed at himself - he was wearing blue pajamas with a hole in the sleeve. "Look. Jammies."
"Jace," Clary said, "this is important."
"Don't tell me," he said. "You've got a drawing emergency. You need a nude model. Well, I'm not in the mood. You could always ask Hodge," he said as an afterthought. "I hear he'll do anything for a -"
"JACE!" she interrupted him, her voice rising to a scream. "JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN, WILL YOU?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, jace-wayland, pijamas, sarcasm

3527 likes

#7

“A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, diary, humor, jace-wayland, sarcasm

3010 likes

#8

“I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them."
"Unfortunately," said Hodge, "we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, hodge, humor, revenge, sarcasm, tea

3100 likes

#9

“Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"
Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: alec-lightwood, city-of-ashes, clean, dirt, humor, isabelle-lightwood, sarcasm

2669 likes

#10

“We...we could be friends.'

We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we're not. At least, I'M not.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

tags: cats, friends, sarcasm

1261 likes

#11

“What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.”
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush

tags: biology, humour, sarcasm

699 likes

#12

“What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked.
Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us."
"Sure," said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour."
Alec looked puzzled. "Who's Madonna?"
"Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?" said Clary.
"She is the Queen of Faerie," said Magnus. "Well, the local one, anyway."
Jace put his head in his hands. "Tell Isabelle no."
"But she thinks it's a good idea," Alec protested.
"Then tell her no twice.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: faeries, funny, madonna, sarcasm

214 likes

#13

“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

4934 likes

#14

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: adaptation, flexibility, intelligence, open-mindedness, wisdom

4375 likes

#15

“Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: dursley, harry-potter, humor, news, sarcasm

3715 likes

#16

“Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”
“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”
“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: humor, jace-wayland, realization, sarcasm, sebastian, valentine-morgenstern

2320 likes

#17

“A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said.
"Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel."
"Easy mistake to make," Jem said.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

tags: sarcasm

1917 likes

#18

“Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

tags: humor, impudence, sarcasm, smartass

2106 likes

#19

“By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell."
Abbadon opened its mouth and hissed. Inside its mouth were two rows of jagged glass-sharp teeth.
"I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business," Jace went on, "smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

1265 likes

#20

“I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?"
"Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple."
"But...you did something nice. Why?"
He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: dionysus, humor, madness, nice, percy-jackson, sarcasm

1021 likes

#21

“I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: defense-mechanism, humor, sarcasm

811 likes

#22

“Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face.”
― James Dashner, The Death Cure

tags: humor, sarcasm

662 likes

#23

“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”

“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”

“There you go, you got it.”

“Got what?”

“Sarcasm.”

“No, I meant it.”

“Sure you did.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“Irony, I think.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So you’re being ironic now, right?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”

“Now you’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Sarcasm.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

tags: humor, irony, sarcasm

694 likes

#24

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

tags: derek-landy, humor, sarcasm, skuldugerry-pleasant, wit

581 likes

#25

“That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mochaccino." He looked at Magnus. "Did you pay for these?"
"Sure," said Magnus, while Jace and Alec snickered. "I make dollar bills magically appear in their cash register."
"Really?"
"No." Magnus popped the lid off his own coffee. "But you can pretend I did if it makes you feel better. So, first order of business is what?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: magnus-bane, sarcasm, simon-lewis

508 likes

#26

“It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

tags: sarcasm

489 likes

#27

“Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.”
― Kami Garcia, Beautiful Creatures

418 likes

#28

“Festus just detected a large group of eagles behind us—long-range radar, still not in sight.”
Piper leaned over the console. “Are you sure they’re Roman?”
Leo rolled his eyes. “No, Pipes. It could be a random group of giant eagles flying in perfect formation. Of course they’re Roman!”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

tags: festus, leo-valdez, percy-jackson-and-the-olympians, piper-mclean, sarcasm, the-heroes-of-olympus, the-mark-of-athena

465 likes

#29

“the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.
On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"
Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful."
"Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

tags: humor, jace, mortal-instruments, sarcasm

371 likes

#30

“If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor.”
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron Daughter

tags: cat, fooling-around, grimalkin, sarcasm

326 likes

#31

“The first time Calypso came to check on [Leo], it was to complain about the noise.
“Smoke and fire,” she said. “Clanging on metal all day long. You’re scaring away the birds!”
“Oh, no, not the birds!”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

tags: calypso, leo-valdez, sarcasm

437 likes

« previous 1 2 next »

All Quotes

Kaitlyn > Kaitlyn's Quotes

Tags From Kaitlyn’s Quotes