NumberLord > NumberLord's Quotes

“Our opponent is an alien starship packed with atomic bombs," I said. "We have a protractor.”
― Neal Stephenson, Anathem

“The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face.”
― Max Brooks

“I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.”
― Christopher Moore, Fool

“Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid?" said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.”
― Christopher Moore, Fool

“Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.”
― Christopher Moore, Fool

“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill. I will choose a path thats clear. I will choose Freewill.”
― Neil Peart

“Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“And so, given the musical sensibilities Hatcher treasured in his earthly life, it is hard to exaggerate the severity of his torture at standing naked in his tiny kitchen in Hell as former FBI director J. Edgar Hoover sings a Bee Gees disco song backed by a full studio orchestra and Robin and Maurice.”
― Robert Olen Butler, Hell

“The monitor presently shows the Windows Blue Screen of Death, though this does not alarm him, as the BSoD is the universal screen saver in Hell.”
― Robert Olen Butler, Hell

“Whatever the reason, first place was always Solo, always, always, always, and second place was usually Chewbacca, because if you weren't the one saving the galaxy, you might as well be eight feet tall and covered with hair.”
― Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe

“You haven’t experienced awkwardness until you’ve seen a three-million-dollar piece of software cry.”
― Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe

“She whipped her tentacles away from his fingers decapitating the dead lobster-dog and its body fell from the ceiling fan.”
― Athena Villaverde

“I'm a pretty clean eater, so my beard probably just smells like the blood of my enemies, as usual.”
― Eric Hendrixson

“You can surrender without a prayer, but never really pray without surrender. You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win without a fight.”
― Neil Peart

“If the future's looking dark,
We're the ones who have to shine.
If there's no one in control,
We're the ones who draw the line.
Though we live in trying times,
We're the ones who have to try.
And we know that time has wings,
So we're the ones who have to fly.”
― Neil Peart

“No changes are permanent, but change is.”
― Neil Peart