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  • #1
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories
    tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
    71605 likes

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  • #1
    Bertrand Russell
    “There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”
    ― Bertrand Russell
    8036 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: funny
    5179 likes

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  • #2
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ― Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
    tags: amorality, correct-way, individuality, my-way, only-way, right-way, the-way, your-way
    6736 likes

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  • #3
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search.”
    ― NIETZSCHE FREDERICH
    162 likes

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  • #3
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “Doubt as sin. — Christianity has done its utmost to close the circle and declared even doubt to be sin. One is supposed to be cast into belief without reason, by a miracle, and from then on to swim in it as in the brightest and least ambiguous of elements: even a glance towards land, even the thought that one perhaps exists for something else as well as swimming, even the slightest impulse of our amphibious nature — is sin! And notice that all this means that the foundation of belief and all reflection on its origin is likewise excluded as sinful. What is wanted are blindness and intoxication and an eternal song over the waves in which reason has drowned.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche, Daybreak: Thoughts on the Prejudices of Morality
    tags: atheism, belief, blind, blind-faith, blindness, christian-faith, christian-miracle, critical-thinking, critical-thought, death-of-reason, doubt, doubt-is-sin, eternity, existence, foundation-of-belief, human-nature, intoxication, meaning, meaning-of-life, metaphor, miracle, myth, nature, origin, philosophy, purpose, purpose-of-life, reason, reflection, religious-faith, resurrection, resurrection-of-jesus, sin, sinful, thinking, thoughts, wasted-life
    1097 likes

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  • #4
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: reality
    673 likes

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  • #4
    George Carlin
    “That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
    ― George Carlin
    3744 likes

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  • #5
    Jon Stewart
    “I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
    ― Jon Stewart
    tags: canada, funny
    703 likes

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  • #5
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “They muddy the water, to make it seem deep.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    883 likes

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  • #6
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “What is the truth, but a lie agreed upon.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    243 likes

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  • #6
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: humor, philosophy
    8063 likes

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  • #7
    I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my
    “I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything.”
    ― Jarod Kintz, $3.33
    555 likes

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  • #7
    Mark Twain
    “Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: morals
    3399 likes

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  • #8
    Mark Twain
    “The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: happiness
    2776 likes

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  • #8
    Steven Wright
    “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
    ― Steven Wright
    tags: first, funny, skydiving
    902 likes

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  • #9
    Mark Twain
    “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

    [Mark Twain, a Biography]”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, prayer, profanity, relief, you-ll-completely-understand-why
    342 likes

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  • #9
    Jarod Kintz
    “Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

    Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
    Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
    Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob”
    ― Jarod Kintz, A Letter to Andre Breton, Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Ink-dipped Carrot
    285 likes

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  • #10
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37971 likes

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  • #10
    Mark Twain
    “When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: class, elitism, humor, redheads
    249 likes

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  • #11
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35252 likes

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  • #11
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “That for which we find words is something already dead in our hearts. There is always a kind of contempt in the act of speaking.”
    ― Nietzsche
    69 likes

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  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32131 likes

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  • #12
    Mark Twain
    “There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
    ― Mark Twain
    172 likes

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  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21404 likes

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  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.”
    ― Mark Twain
    124 likes

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  • #14
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23435 likes

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  • #14
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    12 likes

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  • #15
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18695 likes

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  • #15
    Terry Pratchett
    “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    4284 likes



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Tags From MM’s Quotes

intelligence
self-deprecation
funny
amorality
correct-way
individuality
my-way
only-way
right-way
the-way
your-way
atheism
belief
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christian-miracle
critical-thinking
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class
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