Dark & Twisty

Alexis > Alexis's Quotes

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  • #1
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119613 likes

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  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38054 likes

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  • #3
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35265 likes

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  • #4
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9768 likes

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  • #5
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9907 likes

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  • #6
    Charles M. Schulz
    “Happiness is a warm puppy.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: animals, dogs, happiness, humor, puppies
    6768 likes

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  • #7
    Charles Lamb
    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
    ― Charles Lamb
    2823 likes

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  • #8
    Yogi Berra
    “Deja Vu All Over Again”
    ― Yogi Berra
    tags: berra, deja-vu, yogi
    115 likes

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  • #9
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18561 likes

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  • #10
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13736 likes

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  • #11
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6194 likes

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  • #12
    Mae West
    “I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, temptation
    7020 likes

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  • #13
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: humor, philosophy
    8115 likes

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  • #14
    Orson Welles
    “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
    ― Orson Welles
    3060 likes

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  • #15
    Mae West
    “I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor
    3107 likes

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  • #16
    George Bernard Shaw
    “Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.”
    ― George Bernard Shaw
    tags: animals, attributed-no-source, friends, humor, vegetarianism
    3089 likes

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  • #17
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1874 likes

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  • #18
    Ambrose Bierce
    “The covers of this book are too far apart.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit
    1602 likes

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  • #19
    Derek Landy
    “Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
    ― Derek Landy
    tags: family, humor
    667 likes

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  • #20
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    ― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes
    tags: funny
    3003 likes

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  • #21
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
    3721 likes

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  • #22
    Flannery O'Connor
    “He and the girl had almost nothing to say to each other. One thing he did say was, 'I ain't got any tattoo on my back.'

    'What you got on it?' the girl said.

    'My shirt,' Parker said. 'Haw.'

    'Haw, haw,' the girl said politely.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor, The Complete Stories
    tags: funny, parkers-back
    98 likes

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  • #23
    Zoë Marriott
    “To ugly ducklings everywhere,
    Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
    They'll never get to be swans”
    ― Zoë Marriott, The Swan Kingdom
    tags: clever, cool, cute, funny, humor-inspirational, humorous, inspirational, self-image, sweet
    134 likes



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Tags From Alexis’s Quotes

humor
life
animals
books
dogs
friends
obvious
simile
inspirational
genius
insanity
happiness
puppies
berra
deja-vu
yogi
mankind
people
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time
temptation
philosophy
attributed-no-source
vegetarianism
clique
clubs
membership
criticism
wit
family
funny
crime
humour
neighborhoods
parkers-back
clever
cool
cute
humor-inspirational
humorous
self-image
sweet