Lesli > Lesli's Quotes

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back.”
― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
― Mark Twain

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
― Oscar Wilde, Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”
― John Lennon

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”
― Robert Frost

“Put an egg in your shoe and beat it, make like a tree and leave, imitate an amoeba and split.”
― Stephen King, Needful Things

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
― Woody Allen

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin

“Women only nag when they feel unappreciated.”
― Louis de Bernières, Corelli’s Mandolin

“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.”
― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

“Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.”
― Stephen King, Dolores Claiborne

“That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.”
― Stephen King, The Stand

“He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making love in a canoe."
"Excuse me?"
"It’s fucking near water.”
― David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, A Stroke of Midnight

“What she had realized was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst.”
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

“Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.”
― Chelsea Handler

“Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it's all you can do to take a breath? It's a pain you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy; you wouldn't want to pass it on to anyone else for fear he or she might not be able to bear it. It's the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you've fallen in love. It's not as serious as death, but it feels a whole lot like it, and as I've come to learn, pain is pain any way you slice it.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“How to care for intimate apparel? Treat your bras like you’d want a partner to handle your breasts: with kindness and a gentle touch.”
― Elisabeth Dale

“True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does”
― Torquato Tasso