Chantal > Chantal's Quotes

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have a biscuit, Potter.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morrigan’s red flashes. Maybe I should try to figure out how to make my eyes flash green so I could freak out the baristas at Starbucks. “No, you foolish mortal,” I’d say as my eyes glowed, “I ordered a nonfat latte.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed

“I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds and I’m sure some of them do lose bladder control as well."

"I see. And who is this author"

"Neil Fucking Gaiman."

"His second name is Fucking?"

"No Leif that’s the honorary second name all celebrities are given by their fans. It’s not an insult it’s a huge compliment and he’s earned it.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang

“I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed

“Trolls suck.”
― Betty White

“Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You’ll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.”
― Betty White, If You Ask Me

“I can't spend too much time in the forests because I invariably leave traces-ridiculously happy trees, basically, since I'm the last Druid in the world and they tend to geek out like Joss Whedon fans when I show up.”
― Kevin Hearne, Kaibab Unbound

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“I'd have to ask Oberon to leave him a present on his front doorstep. He'd do it camouflaged too, so that even if Mr. Semerdjian was watching - and he probably would be - it would appear to be undeniable, physical evidence that, sometimes, shit just happens.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed

“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Dude. If that was a Shakespearean quote duel, he just kicked your ass.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed

“Aw, no. You’re taking us to that vegetarian place,
aren’t you?
It’s a coffee place. You can’t just automatically classify anything that isn’t a steak house as vegetarian.
Yes, I can. This is America. You said Americans assert their own opinions as if they were facts and dismiss inconvenient facts as mere opinions.”
― Kevin Hearne, Kaibab Unbound

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.”
― Kevin Hearne, Clan Rathskeller

“Wow you need to get some sun.”
“Shut up. I'm Irish.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows