Jenn > Jenn's Quotes

“Are you afraid?" Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable.
"No. But I have incredible luck with dice and I am ruthless. You will lose, gentlemen. I will destroy your lands, take your women, ravish your men, and make your children my slave labor. I will own every castle, house, and farm that is within my reach. I won't be satisfied until I own all of it and you. I will destroy you all, gentlemen, and, to be quite blunt, I don't think you can handle it."
Van covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he didn't dare look at his sister. Verner stepped back, motioning to the table. "Now I must insist."
"As you wish." Irene sighed and stood. She glanced at Van and gave him a quick wink before turning back to his uncle. "I do hope you're a 'sobber,' Mr. Van Holtz. Nothing I love more than the lamenting of the men I annihilate."

"I can't believe you made him cry."
"I did not. He just teared up a little."
"Yeah. I think it was when you told him, 'I now control your ports and own your manhood.'"
"His wife laughed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, When He Was Bad

“Zach - "Yes. And Tigers. And mountain lions. There's an array of shifters."

Sara - "Bunnies?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“You forget, darling.
I am the local psychopath.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Bitten

“Kids who don't eavesdrop on adult conversations are doomed to a childhood of ignorance.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Men of the Otherworld

“He had a newspaper rolled in his hand, bearing down on me like a puppy that had piddled on the carpet.
"Bad Chloe,” I muttered.
"What?”
I’d forgotten his bionic hearing. “Bad Chloe.” I gestured at the rolled-up paper and put
out my hand. “Get it over with.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Awakening

“You'll wrest a burning sword from an angel, but you're afraid of bats?"
"I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them. They're...furry. Flying things shouldn't be furry. It's not right. And if I ever meet the Creator, I'm taking that one up with him."
"That I'd like to see. Your one and possible only chance to get the answer to every question in the universe, and you ask, 'Why are bats furry?'"
"I will. You just wait.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Haunted

“Urban survival rule 22: Never annoy an armed man.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Bitten

“Dogs make sense. They understand hierarchy and the need to cooperate. They come when you call them. A cat though—a cat will take your number and get back to you. Maybe. If he’s in a good mood.”
― Eileen Wilks, Mortal Danger

“When I glanced at the chair, it started to shake. I’d like to think it was scared of me, but I rarely invoked that response in living things, let alone inanimate objects. ”
― Kelley Armstrong, Stolen

“I glanced up to see Liz and smiled. "Thank you."

"I just went along for the ride. After that happened-" She waved at Derek. "You know how blind people need Seeing Eye dogs? Well, apparently werewolves could really use Opening Door poltergeists.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“I thought you were all-seeing.”
All-knowing, not all-seeing!” he snapped. “I’m a God, not Santa Claus!”
― Kelley Armstrong, Industrial Magic

“Murder? You mean he's dead?"
"No. He's resting comfortably," I said. "People always sleep best with their heads at a ninety-degree angle. He looks comfortable, doesn't he?"
(Paige & Elena)”
― Kelley Armstrong, Stolen

“We’re not naked, we’re skyclad!”
― Kelley Armstrong, Dime Store Magic

“You know children, always playing with the forces of darkness.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Stolen

“We had one gun, one werewolf, one poltergeist, one supercharged spell-caster, one not-so-supercharged spell-caster, and one perfectly useless necromancer, though Liz was quick to remind me that she needed me to relay her words. - Chloe”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“I moved up beside Jamie."I have to go."
She frowned at me. "Where?"
I pressed a hand to the bottom of my belly. "My bladder.It-"
Ah." She gave a small laugh. "We interrupt this life-or-death situation for a pregnancy pee break. Don't see that in the movies, do you?”
― Kelley Armstrong, Broken

“Next Clay gave the house rules for living with theSorrentinos , which sounded a lot like the Ten
Commandments. Thou shall not lie, steal anything, kill anyone, disrespect your hosts or covet
any of Nick's girlfriends. And if you break the rules, you'll get your ass kicked and handed to you
in pieces—a part I suspect God left out.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Frostbitten

“I'm suprised he doesn't send Christmas cards," Antonio said. "I can see them now. Tasteful, embossed veilum cards, the best he can steal. Little notes in perfect penmanship,"Happy holidays. Hope everyone is well. I sliced up Ethan Ritter in Miami and scattered his remains in the Atlantic. Best wishes for the new year. Karl.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Bitten

“Boo," I said. He reacted as all mutts react when I confront them. He leapt from his chair and dove for the nearest exit, shaking in terror. In my dreams. He glanced at me and started looking for Clay. It never failed. Mutts only quaked when I appeared because it usually meant Clayton wasn't far behind. I was nothing but a harbinger of doom.”
― Kelley Armstrong

“when times are tough, the weak bail and the tough get creative.”
― Kelley Armstrong

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die." I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Kate short-circuits my brain. In my head we always have these clear coherent exchanges, but once we meet, what comes out it is, “Kate, do what I say or I’ll kill you.” Her default reply is, “Fuck you!” and we go downhill from there.”
― Ilona Andrews

“Yes, I'm too mad to punish you right now. We'll talk about it when we get home. Go brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on dry clothes, and get the guns. We're going to Wal-Mart.”
― Ilona Andrews, On the Edge