Quotes - Austin (Front Royal, VA) Showing 1-30 of 36

#1

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

tags: paraphrased, strength

34013 likes

#2

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9763 likes

#3

“Destroying things is much easier than making them.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

9417 likes

#4

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148422 likes

#5

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, gilbert-perreira, honesty, inspirational, misattributed-oscar-wilde, quote-investigator

177114 likes

#6

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30246 likes

#7

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

tags: inspirational

23867 likes

#8

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people

18548 likes

#9

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: friends, humor, jail

10178 likes

#10

“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
― George V. Higgins, The Friends of Eddie Coyle

tags: humor, life, misattributed-john-wayne

11393 likes

#11

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

3903 likes

#12

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.”
― Tommy Cooper

tags: driving, funny

40 likes

#13

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
― Benjamin Franklin

tags: beer, drinking, misquote

891 likes

#14

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
― Benjamin Franklin

tags: drinking, humor

1593 likes

#15

“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”
― George Carlin

tags: america, humor, president, qualifications

661 likes

#16

“They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.”
― Eddie Izzard

tags: humor

406 likes

#17

“If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr..

you might be a redneck”
― Jeff Foxworthy

26 likes

#18

“You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light”
― Jeff Foxworthy, You Might Be A Redneck If...

17 likes

#19

“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

tags: cars, drinking, humor, life

99 likes

#20

“If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart..

You might be a rednneck”
― Jeff Foxworthy

11 likes

#21

“If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

tags: redneck

14 likes

#22

“If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

tags: redneck

13 likes

#23

“You can't fix stupid.”
― Larry the Cable Guy

49 likes

#24

“Git-R-Done”
― Larry the Cable Guy, Git - R - Done

17 likes

#25

“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”
― Ron White

tags: humor, humour, self-knowledge

218 likes

#26

“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!”
― Ron White, I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability

39 likes

#27

“They call me Tater Salad”
― Ron White

6 likes

#28

“I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer with the airplane. and there was a silence on the other end of the line followed by.. OH MY GOD.! were you on the ground? I said nope, santa was makin one last run.. ”
― Bill Engvall, Here's Your Sign!

17 likes

#29

“I'm here to kill the deer, She wants to take it shoppin.”
― Bill Engvall

8 likes

#30

“its a dork fish”
― Bill Engvall, Here's Your Sign!

7 likes

Austin > Austin's Quotes

Tags From Austin’s Quotes