Chad Davis > Chad's Quotes

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
― Frank Sinatra

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”
― Oscar Wilde

“I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.”
― Tom Waits

“Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain —
Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away;
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

“Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Do you drink?"
"Of course,I just said I was a writer.”
― Stephen King

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

“War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”
― William Faulkner

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
― Ogden Nash, Hard Lines

“Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They’re the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It’s damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he’s heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl.”
― James Crumley

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
― W.C. Fields

“Pops: How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no she means...
Justin, looking desperately at me: No?
Nana: Are you sure?
Justin, shifting uncomfortably: I'm sure. No means no.
Nana: Well look at you. You got one right. Now here's another, even tougher sentence for you to finish. Premarital sex is...
Me: Nana! I'm so sorry Justin.
Nana: Unlike Pops, I'm not moving on. Justin?
Pops: His name is Jason.
Justin:Uh....uh....
Pops: While you think about that, why don't you tell me how you feel about drinking and driving?
Justin: I'm totally against it, I swear!
Nana: Methinks he protests too much.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.”
― Warren Ellis

“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”
― Martin Luther

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.”
― Martin Luther

“Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.”
― Dudley Moore

“Drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant.
”
― Robert Hess

“A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

“Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
― Mark Twain

“Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

- The Watchful Poker Chip of H. Matisse”
― Ray Bradbury, The October Country

“If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.”
― W.C. Fields

“Sensible people advise against drinking on an empty stomach, but to my mind it is the best sort of drinking.”
― Tom Hodgkinson