Stephanie > Stephanie's Quotes

“Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk."

Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up, making it hard to breathe.

I don't care how much crap you have in the trunk. We're not driving around with a naked body in the car."

Oh no! She gasped for air. He was a hit man.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“My point, exactly. Those poor women are so malnourished, they can’t think straight. Take my friend Sasha. Her idea of a three-course meal is a celery stick, a cherry tomato, and a laxative. She’s killing herself to fit into these clothes. Women like me can’t dress like that.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“You know how to shoot?"- Emma

"Yes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert." - Heather

"What happened to him?" -Shanna

"He was...shot." -Heather”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“She's easy to use." Laszlo pointed at the doll's neck. "You remove the clamp, insert the small funnel, select two quarts of your favorite blood from Romatech Industries, and fill her up."

I see. Does she light up when she's running low?"

Laszlo frowned. "I suppose I could put in an indicator light-”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“Merda! Her lace panties had snagged on his ring, the signet ring he'd inherited from his father, Giacomo Casanova. His father had seduced hundred of women without any problems whatsoever, and he was having trouble with just one. This was the real reason he never used the Casanova name. He could never live up to his father's reputation. The old man was probably laughing in his grave.

Nine circles of hell," Jack muttered.

Hell?" Lara asked. "I thought I was the Holy Land."

You're paradise. Unfortunately, I am stuck there."

Her eyes widened. "Stuck?"

Normally, I would love being stuck to your lovely bum, but it would look odd if we go sightseeing with my hand under your skirt. Especially in the basilica."

She glanced down. "How can you be stuck?"

My ring. It's caught in the lace. See?" He moved his hand down her hip, dragging her undies down a few inches.

Okay, stop." She bit her lip, frowning, then suddenly giggled. "I can't believe this has happened."

I assure you, as much as I had hoped to get your clothes off, this was not part of my original plan."

She snorted. "No problem. Just rip yourself loose."

Are you sure?" It will destroy you undies."

She narrowed her eyes with a seductuve look. "Rip it."

Very well." He jerked his hand away, but the panties came with him. He yanked his hand back and forth, but the lacy, latex material simply stretched with him. "Santo cielo, they are indestructible."

Lara laughed.

He continued to wage battle, but to no avail. "They could use this material to build spaceships.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Secret Life of a Vampire

“I probably shouldn't trust you. But for some reason, I do. She climbed out of the car, and instantly his entire body wakened to her proximity.
You're right, he whispered, lifting a hand to touch her cheek. You shouldn't trust me at all.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks

“Gregori strutted toward the door. "I'm too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my fangs. Too sexy." He whirled in a circle, then struck a disco pose with a hand pointing at the ceiling. "Too sexy!" He left with a flourish of his cape.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“Something’s different,” Carlos continued. “Tonight you came in with no scowling or growling. Why the
change?”
Robby shrugged one shoulder. “I’m trying to convince you I’m no’ crazy. If I kept doing the same thing when it
wasna working, would that no’ be crazy?”
“Good point.” Carlos rinsed the bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. “So you’re trying a new strategy tonight.”
Robby removed the bottled blood from the microwave and filled a glass. “Tonight I saw an angel.”
Carlos’s eyes widened. “And you’re still trying to convince me you’re not crazy?”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Vampire and the Virgin

“Gregori jolted back. "Snap! You couldn't control one measly mortal?"
Roman clenched his fists. "No."
Gregori slapped a hand against his brow. "Snap!"
"Why the hell are you snapping? Are you a turtle?" It was times like this that firing Gregori
seemed to be the wise choice.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“Ian shrugged like he didn't care, though his reddened face indicated differently.
- 'Tis always the same. Either they're no' interested because they think I'm a child, or they are interested because they think I'm a child, which is even worse.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks

“I'll talk to him before I go," Carlos grumbled.
"And what about the girls?" Toni asked. "They need you, Carlos."
"They need a mother!" Carlos yelled. "And I need a mate."
Caitlyn gasped. Hes was looking for a mate? What kind of mate? His gaze shifted towards her, and his eyes glittered with a hard, angry look.
"You--what?" Toni stepped back, apparently stunned.
"You heard me," Carlos growled.
"Ye want to get married?" the Scotsman asked.
"Don't look so shocked, Ian. Didn't want you want to get married?"
"Aye, but--"
"You can't get married," Toni declared. "You're gay."
Caitlyn snorted. Were they crazy?
Carlos glared at her in the shadows, then shifted his gaze to Toni. "I never said I was gay."
"Of course you're gay," she insisted. "I saw you dance the samba in a hot pink sequined thong."
Carlos shrugged. "So? You said I was very sexy. You were practically drooling."
Ian stiffened. "When was this?"
"Before I met you," Toni muttered.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Eat Prey Love

“I went to college. Got a master’s degree. Went to Quantico for training. Been chasing down bad guys.”
She gave her grandmother a wry look. “You know, the usual girly stuff.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Vampire and the Virgin

“This is not a good time, Miss Implant." Roman felt Jean-Luc jabbing him in the back with his walking stick. "Uh, Porky. No, I mean--" Damn, what the hell was her name?”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“That’s Carlos?” Phineas lowered his sword and whistled under his breath. “Hello, kitty.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire

“We have some nachos left.” Carlos motioned to a plate on the table. “But I don’t suppose you’re interested.”
“I already ate.” Ian sat at the end of the table.
“Anyone we know?” Carlos’s amber eyes twinkled. “Ouch.” He glared at Toni.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire

“Jack grabbed Phil's arm to teleport back to Romatech.
Phil muttered a curse. "If you say one word about this to the other guys, I will stake you in your sleep."
"Don't worry, sweetheart. If they find out about this, I'll stake myself.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Secret Life of a Vampire

“Connor turned to Vanda. “I’ll need to check yer bag, too.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Vanda tossed her bag onto the table. She was ready for him this time.
He opened her silver evening bag. His eyes widened.
She was quite proud that she’d managed to squeeze a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, her back massager, and a bottle of Viagra
into such a tiny handbag. She smiled sweetly. “Something wrong, Connor?”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Forbidden Nights with a Vampire

“Why don’t you two take a little walk?” Eleni suggested. “The moon is beautiful tonight.”
“That’s a great idea.” Robby stood, releasing Olivia’s hand. “Will ye walk with me, lass?”
“Yes.” She grabbed her sweater, pulled it over her head, then fixed the clip that held her hair in place on
the back of her head.
“No funny stuff,” Eleni warned. “I’ll be watching with the telescope.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Vampire and the Virgin

“I don't want to hurt anyone" Laszlo fiddled with a button on his tux jacket. "Can't we convince the CIA that some of us are peaceful?"

"we'll have to try" Angus folded his arms across his broad chest. "And if they doona believe we're peaceful, then we'll have to kill the bastards."

Roman frowned, somehow their Highlander logic escaped him.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“Love doesn’t please itself by seeking revenge. Love sacrifices itself for the good of others.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Be Still My Vampire Heart

“Shanna was across the room with her new husband, chatting happily with Gregori's mother.
With a sly grin, Gregori motioned toward them. "Let's go congratulate Roman for taking five hundred years to find a bride.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Vamps and the City

“She stumbled back a step. “Carlos was the…?”
“Panther, aye.”
“He’s a cat?” And her boss was a dog. She shook her head. Was her next door neighbor a goldfish?”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Vampire and the Virgin

“What is 45 minutes to an old goat like you?" - Vanda
"I believe it is still 45 minutes." - Connor”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Forbidden Nights with a Vampire

“Ye know, Cork Courrant-Porky Implant. Tis a jest" Ian”
― Kerrelyn Sparks

“Well, make up your mind. I don’t have all night.” Fidelia set her beer on the porch and removed a set of keys from her skirt pocket. She fumbled with the key, trying to release the trigger lock on her pistol.
“Don’t do that,” Heather warned her. “You’ve had too much to drink.”
Fidelia snorted. “I’m not drunk. I’m in complete control.” She tore off the trigger lock.
Bang! The gun fired, ripping into a nearby oak tree.
The women screamed. Jean-Luc winced.
A squirrel plummeted from the tree and landed in the yard with a thud.
Fidelia shrugged. “I meant to do that. Damned rodent’s been gnawing on the house. And stealing all the nuts from our pecan tree.”
Heather planted her hands on her hips. “Haven’t I told you a million times to keep the locks on?”
Fidelia hung her head, looking properly remorseful. “I’ll be more careful.” She switched on the safety, then shot Jean-Luc a pointed look. “I know how to deal with a scumbag with nuts.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“Have you tried to talk to her?"
"What would you like me to say Bastian? OH, I'M SORRY, INEZ. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BITE YOU, MY FANGS SLIPPED.”
― Lynsay Sands, Vampires are Forever

“Time is not the great teacher. Experience is. A man may live a whole life, but if he never leaves his home to experience that life, he dies knowing nothing. A mere child who has suffered and lived can be the wiser of the two.”
― Lynsay Sands, Love Bites

“Birthdays could be such a bummer when you were older than the country you lived in.”
― Lynsay Sands, A Quick Bite

“Have you ever noticed how when you're happy, time seems to pass by fast, while when you're miserable it goes real slow? Life would have been a blink with you whether it lasted a millennium or a month.”
― Lynsay Sands, A Quick Bite

“Have you ever seen An American Werewolf in London? Well, I'm not American. I'm not a werewolf, and this isn't London.”
― Lynsay Sands, Tall, Dark & Hungry