Brian > Brian's Quotes

“On top of all that, you're naked. And while I'm going to hate myself for this later, could you put on some clothes? At least just for a little while, so I can think. Then you can go right back to being naked. All the time. With my full blessing.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Begin at the beginning," I said, "and go on till you come to the end. Then stop.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Under the stars,I tried to sleep,but for once in my life couldn't.My mutant super power-the ability to nod off at at the drop of a hat,any time,anywhere-had deserted me.”
― James Lovegrove, The Age of Odin

“Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Wow you need to get some sun.”
“Shut up. I'm Irish.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Winning ugly is still winning.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hounded

“Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“ What's silly is paying five bucks for hot milk and flavored syrup! But now I see what's really been going on all this time! They charge you all that money because they need it for the R & D! Somewhere on the outskirts of Seattle, there's a secret facility with higher security than Area 51, and inside there are men with poor eyesight and bad haircuts wearing white coats, and they're trying to make the Holy Grail of all coffee drinks.


The bacon latte?


No, Atticus, I already told you those exist! I'm talking about the prophecy! 'Out of the steam and the foam and the froth, a man in white with poor eyesight will craft a liquid paradox, and it shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!'


Oberon, what the F---?”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow.

Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of me. It was like watching Rudolph get shot by Santa Claus.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“Wind does not discriminate—it touches everyone, everything. He liked that about wind.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."

I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?"

"Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?"

"You're redundant," I said.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“Thanks for not talking with your fists,” I said. I have a little sister, and I’m not sure I’d be as understanding with any of her boyfriends.
“I’ve seen you fight,” he said, turning. “It would’ve been a terribly short conversation.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“I know you're frustrated, Sam, but the reality is you're in a world now where the majority of the people you run into will be able to snap you like a twig."

"My world was like that before.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“Fight dirty, and go for the face. Gentlemen's rules are for gentlemen.”
― Taran Matharu, The Novice

“A warrior's greatest enemy can also be his greatest teacher.”
― Taran Matharu, The Novice

“They all yelled in excitement. Tamara yelled because she was happy. Aaron yelled because he liked it when other people were happy, and Call yelled because he was sure they were going to die.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Iron Trial

“Fire wants to burn
Water wants to flow
Air wants to rise
Earth wants to bind
Chaos wants to devour
Cal wants to live”
― Cassandra Clare, The Iron Trial

“Win?" Call said, startled. It hadn't occurred to him that Master Rufus was expecting them to win the test. Not after a whole onth of sand. "We're not going to win." He was mostly concerned with whether they would survive.
"That's the spirit." Aaron hid a grin.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Iron Trial

“Maybe by the time they were in their Silver Year, Master Rufus would communicate complicated theories of magic by the lifting of a single bushy eyebrow.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Iron Trial

“That's the spirit." Aaron hid a grin. He was already wearing his armband, just above his elbow. Somehow he managed to make it look cool. Call had tied his around his forearm and was fairly sure it looked like a bandage.”
― Holly Black, The Iron Trial

“So it’s not as bad as it looks?” Call ventured. “Oh, no,” she told him. “It’s just as bad as it looks. But I’m very, very good at my job.”
― Holly Black, The Iron Trial