Nishant Agarwal > Nishant's Quotes

“I was trained to turn loneliness into laziness.”
― Bill Callahan, Letters to Emma Bowlcut

“i have no point in procrastinating any longer..”
― Flora Rheta Schreiber

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”
― Irina Dunn

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”
― Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.”
― Oliver Goldsmith, She Stoops to Conquer

“Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?"
"It sucked."
"Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks.
"It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”

“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”

“There you go, you got it.”

“Got what?”

“Sarcasm.”

“No, I meant it.”

“Sure you did.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“Irony, I think.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So you’re being ironic now, right?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”

“Now you’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Sarcasm.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
― Terry Johnson, Insignificance

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields