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Jill Kidman > Jill's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148744 likes

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  • #2
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119374 likes

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  • #3
    Jane Austen
    “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
    ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
    tags: aliteracy, books, classic, humor
    51694 likes

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  • #4
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

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  • #5
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32161 likes

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  • #6
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28830 likes

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  • #7
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25660 likes

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  • #8
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23104 likes

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  • #9
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22533 likes

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  • #10
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21214 likes

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  • #11
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18562 likes

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  • #12
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19799 likes

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  • #13
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19876 likes

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  • #14
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18669 likes

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  • #15
    Lewis Carroll
    “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
    ― Lewis Carroll
    tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday
    17438 likes

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  • #16
    “Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
    ― Terry Johnson, Insignificance
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, philosophy
    13822 likes

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  • #17
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13080 likes

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  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12958 likes

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  • #19
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: god, humor, life
    11631 likes

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  • #20
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9902 likes

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  • #21
    Albert Einstein
    “Never memorize something that you can look up.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: humor, science
    11418 likes

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  • #22
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9113 likes

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  • #23
    Jane Austen
    “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”
    ― Jane Austen, Jane Austen's Letters
    tags: friends, humor, people
    9002 likes

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  • #24
    Jerome K. Jerome
    “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
    ― Jerome K. Jerome
    tags: humor, work
    8144 likes

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  • #25
    Laurence J. Peter
    “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
    ― Laurence J. Peter
    tags: misattributed-einstein
    8422 likes

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  • #26
    Henry Ward Beecher
    “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
    ― Henry Ward Beecherr
    tags: books, humor
    7419 likes

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  • #27
    Mae West
    “I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, temptation
    7022 likes

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  • #28
    W.C. Fields
    “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
    ― W.C. Fields
    7409 likes

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  • #29
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: humor, philosophy
    8097 likes

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  • #30
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6192 likes



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Tags From Jill’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
life
aliteracy
books
classic
deadlines
humour
work
writing
cats
women
death
fear
reading
television
calvin-and-hobbes
mankind
people
insanity
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
misattributed-mark-twain
theology
alice
inspirational
philosophy-of-life
psychological
yesterday
misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
proverb
god
genius
politics
friends
misattributed-einstein
temptation
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time