Quotes - Carlton (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 30

#1

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious, simile

35271 likes

#2

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
― steve martin

917 likes

#3

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”
― Steve Martin

tags: drinking, humor, writing

489 likes

#4

“The moment God is figured out with nice neat lines and definitions, we are no longer dealing with God.”
― Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith

tags: christian, faith, god, jesus, spirituality

697 likes

#5

“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ”
― John Bunyan

tags: christian, inspirational, prayer, words

562 likes

#6

“I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”
― Steve Martin

477 likes

#7

“... you're nuts but you're welcome here.”
― Steve Martin

352 likes

#8

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”
― Steve Martin

469 likes

#9

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor

1473 likes

#10

“We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday.”
― Steve Martin

282 likes

#11

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
― Steve Martin

tags: cluelessness, humor, sex

402 likes

#12

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
― Steve Martin

tags: black-humor, gallows-humor, irreverent-humor

308 likes

#13

“...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.”
― Steve Martin, Shopgirl

292 likes

#14

“If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.”
― Steve Martin

tags: insignificance, wealth

307 likes

#15

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”
― Steve Martin

tags: french, humor

479 likes

#16

“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.”
― steve martin

401 likes

#17

“It's pain that changes our lives.”
― Steve Martin, Shopgirl

494 likes

#18

“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, words

2963 likes

#19

“I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.”
― Steve Martin

222 likes

#20

“How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?”
― Steve Martin, Shopgirl

236 likes

#21

“I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.”
― Steve Martin, The Pleasure of My Company

tags: love

184 likes

#22

“I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...”
― Steve Martin

192 likes

#23

“The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.”
― steve martin

190 likes

#24

“I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth. ”
― Steve Martin

195 likes

#25

“The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.”
― Steve Martin

137 likes

#26

“She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.”
― Steve Martin, Shopgirl

192 likes

#27

“I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”
― Steve Martin

tags: human-nature, humor, unexpected-humor

301 likes

#28

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor

168 likes

#29

“I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.”
― Steve Martin

171 likes

#30

“Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”
― Steve Martin, Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life

tags: comedy, encouragement, humor, steve-martin

596 likes

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