Mamie > Mamie's Quotes

“I've faced worse than a dressmaker who breaths fire.”
― Jessica Day George

“It looks as though your shop is doing well," Luka said gazing around, "Could you help me find a gift for a lady friend of mine?"

My heart plunged to my grenn satin slippers, and I had to stare down at Azarte for a minute, petting him hard. Naturally Luka had a "lady friend." She was probably nobly born: the daughter of a count or a duke. I imagined her having thick dark hair and clear skin, and was bitterly jealous. "Of course," I stammered after a time. "What would she like? A gown? A sash?" If she came in for a fitting, I decided to "accidentlly" poke her with every pin.”
― Jessica Day George

“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry...”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“So, there I was, tied to an altar made from outdated encyclopedias, about to get sacrificed to the dark powers by a cult of evil Librarians.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a 'fantasy' novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense.

Rutabaga.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Yes, Bastille. I keep trying to get killed because it's inconvenient for you.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“I froze, shocked. (And don't try to claim that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Once there was a bunny. This bunny had a birthday party. It was the bestest birthday party ever. Because that was the day the bunny got a bazooka.
THe bunny loved his bazooka. He blew up all sorts of things on the farm. He blew up the stable of Henrietta the Horse. He blew up the pen of Pugsly the Pig. He blew up the coop of Chuck the Chicken.
"I have the bestest bazooka ever," the bunny said. Then the farm friends proceeded to beat him senseless and steal his bazooka. It was the happiest day of his life.
The end.
Epilogue: Pugsly the Pig, now without a pen, was quite annoyed. When none of the others were looking, he stole the bazooka. He tied a bandana on his head and swore vengeance for what had been done to him.
"From this day on," he whispered, raising the bazooka, "I shall be known as Hambo.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“They are presented attractively for the same reason that kittens are cute - so that they can draw you in, then pounce on you for the kill.

Seriously. Stay away from kittens.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“So, when people try to give you some book with a shiny round award on the cover, be kind and gracious, but tell them you don't read "fantasy," because you prefer stories that are real. Then come back here and continue your research on the cult of evil Librarians who secretly rule the world.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Now you may have gotten the impression that there are absolutely no uses for Librarians. I'm sorry if I implied that. Librarians are very useful. For instance, they are useful if you are fishing for sharks and need some bait. They're also useful for throwing out windows to test the effects of concrete impact on horn-rimmed glasses. If you have enough Librarians, you can build bridges out of them. (Just like witches.)
And, unfortunately, they are also useful for organizing things.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul.”
― Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Smedry), Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“Now, I had been frightened on several different occasions in my life. The most frightening of these involved an elevator and a mime.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“People can do great things. However, there are somethings they just can't do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort. I could, however, make myself insane, if I wished. (Though if I achieved the second, I might be able to make myself think I'd achieved the first....)
Anyway, if there's a lesson to be learned, it's this: great success often depends on being able to distinguish between the impossible and the improbable. Or, in easier terms, distinguishing between Popsicles and insanity.
Any questions?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Impossible things are really rough to do, you know.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens

“Sometimes it was daunting, knowing how easily I could break things. This one simple curse seemed to dominate my entire life.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“I am a Smedry, and we do ridiculous, unexpected, eccentric things like this all the time! Ha-ha!”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens

“It's actually a rather romantic and dramatic story --- one I would eagerly tell you, except for the fact that I recently forgot it, based on it being far too long and having not enough decapitations.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“...Generally people don't recomend this type of book at all. It is far too interesting. Perhaps you have had other books recomended to you. Perhaps, even, you have been given books by friends, parents, teachers, then told that these books are the type you have to read. Those books are invariably described as "important"- which in my experience, pretty much means that they're boring. (words like meaningful and thoughtful are other good clues.)”
― Brandon Sanderson

“I am a fish.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Down with tyranny!' Bramble cried. 'Aristocracy! Autocracy! Monocracy! Other ocracy things! You are outnumbered, sir! Surrender!”
― Heather Dixon, Entwined

“He's around the twist,' said Azalea. 'Breaking all the windows? He's mad.'
'Ah, no,' said the King. 'It's only madness if you actually do it. If you want to break all the windows in the house and drown yourself in a bucket but don't actually do it, well, that's love.”
― Heather Dixon, Entwined

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

“Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting.”
― John Green