2026 Reading Challenge

Diane > Diane's Quotes

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  • #1
    “Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”
    ― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding
    tags: funny
    6899 likes

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  • #2
    Cathy Guisewite
    “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
    ― Cathy Guiswite
    tags: eyes, funny, lemons
    5194 likes

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  • #4
    Stephen King
    “Alone. Yes, that's the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.”
    ― Stephen King
    tags: horror, vampire
    2711 likes

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  • #5
    R.L. Stine
    “Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different style.”
    ― R.L. Stine
    tags: diversity, horror, reading
    1184 likes

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  • #5
    Steve Martin
    “Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: criticize, empathy, funny, humor
    258 likes

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  • #6
    Clive Barker
    “Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red.”
    ― Clive Barker, Books of Blood: Volumes One to Three
    tags: blood, equality, horror, reading
    766 likes

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  • #7
    Stephen King
    “Give me just enough information so that I can lie convincingly.”
    ― Stephen King
    tags: horror, king, on-writing, stephen-king
    662 likes

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  • #8
    H.P. Lovecraft
    “I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.”
    ― H.P. Lovecraft, The Outsider
    tags: horror, lovecraft
    582 likes

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  • #9
    Robert Bloch
    “Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.”
    ― Robert Bloch
    tags: horror, inspirational, misattributed-to-stephen-king
    275 likes

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  • #10
    André Gide
    “I do not love men: I love what devours them.”
    ― André Gide, Prometheus Illbound
    tags: horror, life, mankind, writers
    394 likes

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  • #11
    Stephen King
    “Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in.”
    ― Stephen King, The Shining
    431 likes

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  • #12
    Jane Austen
    “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
    ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
    tags: aliteracy, books, classic, humor
    51605 likes

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  • #13
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37983 likes

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  • #14
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30246 likes

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  • #15
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28791 likes

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  • #16
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26804 likes

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  • #17
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25652 likes

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  • #18
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23098 likes

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  • #19
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21174 likes

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  • #20
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19792 likes

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  • #21
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15558 likes

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  • #22
    J.K. Rowling
    “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
    "Yes," said Harry stiffly.
    "Yes, sir."
    "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
    The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm
    15183 likes

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  • #23
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13746 likes

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  • #24
    Cassandra Clare
    “Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
    "Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
    ― Cassandra Clare
    tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis
    13662 likes

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  • #25
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12680 likes

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  • #26
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12933 likes

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  • #27
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
    tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit
    11373 likes

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  • #28
    J.K. Rowling
    “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: humor, shampoo
    10181 likes

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  • #29
    J.K. Rowling
    “Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
    Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
    Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
    Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    tags: harry-potter, humor, james-potter, remus-lupin, sirius-black, snape, wormtail
    10347 likes

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  • #30
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: friends, humor, jail
    10181 likes



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Tags From Diane’s Quotes

funny
eyes
lemons
horror
vampire
diversity
reading
criticize
empathy
humor
blood
equality
king
on-writing
stephen-king
lovecraft
inspirational
misattributed-to-stephen-king
life
mankind
writers
aliteracy
books
classic
animals
dogs
friends
religion
cats
women
chocolate
food
death
fear
television
calvin-and-hobbes
insanity
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
rebellion
sarcasm
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
jace-wayland
simon-lewis
proverb
attributed-no-source
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
shampoo
harry-potter
james-potter
remus-lupin
sirius-black
snape
wormtail
jail