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#1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148480 likes

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#2

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy

81844 likes

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#3

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins

24391 likes

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#4

“Bean finds the best apple in our tree and hands it up to me. "You know what this tastes like when you first bite into it?" she asks.
"No, what?"
"Blue sky."
"You're zoomed."
"You ever eat blue sky?"
"No," I admit.
"Try it sometime," she says. "It's apple-flavored.”
― Rodman Philbrick, The Last Book in the Universe

tags: apples, humor, inspirational, life, obvious

80 likes

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#5

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods

3718 likes

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#6

“If you take out the team in teamwork, it's just work. Now who wants that?”
― Matthew Woodring Stover

54 likes

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#7

“So that's us: processed corn, walking.”
― Michael Pollan, The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals

88 likes

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#8

“When chickens get to live like chickens, they'll taste like chickens, too.”
― Michael Pollan, The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals

tags: food

80 likes

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#9

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

tags: aliteracy, attributed-no-source, literacy

41008 likes

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#10

“If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, simplicity, understand

31240 likes

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#11

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: attributed-no-source

28141 likes

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#12

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64669 likes

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#13

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television

23093 likes

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#14

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted
most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”
― Nora Ephron

tags: food, humor, love

209 likes

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#15

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

37990 likes

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#16

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

tags: death, dumbledore, harry, inspirational, philosophers-stone, ron, sorcerers-stone

25317 likes

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#17

“Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
"So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: death, humor, sarcasm

9388 likes

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#18

“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor, shampoo

10178 likes

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#19

“Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
"Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: albus-potter, fame, harry-potter, humor, ron-weasley

5011 likes

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#20

“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor

4269 likes

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#21

“How do you feel, Georgie?" whispered Mrs. Weasley.
George's fingers groped for the side of his head.
"Saintlike," he murmured.
"What's wrong with him?" croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?"
"Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: harry-potter, humor

4550 likes

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#22

“Seventeen, eh!" said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.
"Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?"
"Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?"
"I forge’ the details," Hagrid chortled.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: birthday, dursley, hagrid, harry-potter, humor, pig, wizard

2444 likes

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#23

“For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor

1663 likes

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#24

“We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: humor

1568 likes

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#25

“So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

1023 likes

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#26

“Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

846 likes

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#27

“So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —”
“Don’t talk to your mother like that.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

tags: epithet, harry-potter, humor, ron-weasley

836 likes

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#28

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: charles-bayard-mitchell

101587 likes

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#29

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

tags: mischief

37370 likes

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#30

“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

tags: albus-dumbledore, courage, friends

32099 likes

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Tags From Dongwook’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
apples
inspirational
life
obvious
crime
funny
humour
neighborhoods
food
aliteracy
literacy
simplicity
understand
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
books
reading
television
love
animals
dogs
friends
death
dumbledore
harry
philosophers-stone
ron
sorcerers-stone
sarcasm
shampoo
albus-potter
fame
harry-potter
ron-weasley
birthday
dursley
hagrid
pig
wizard
epithet
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mischief
albus-dumbledore
courage