Steph > Steph's Quotes

“My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”
― Janet Evanovich

“Babe!”
― Janet Evanovich

“I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Everyone knows you can't see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever existed. That couch has the mother of all death cooties. – Lula ”
― Janet Evanovich

“[Stephanie] "This won't be so bad," I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. "How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. Then we could pick him up without actually touching him."

"I suppose that'd be all right," Lula said. "We could give it a try"

I spread the blanket on the ground beside Elliot Harp, took a deep breath, hooked my fingers around his belt and rolled him onto the blanket. I jumped back, squeezed my eyes closed tight and exhaled. No matter how much violent death I saw, I would never get used to it. "I'm gonna definitely have the runs," Lula said. "I can feel it coming on."

"Forget about the runs and help me with this body!" Lula grabbed hold of the head end of the blanket, and I grabbed hold of the foot end. Harp had full rigor and wouldn't bend, so we put him in the trunk headfirst with his legs sticking out. We carefully closed the lid on Harp's knees and secured the lid with a piece of rope Lula had in her trunk.

"Hold on," Lula said, pulling a red flowered scarf from her coat pocket, tying the scarf on Harp's foot like a flag. "Don't want to get a ticket. I hear the police are real picky about having things sticking out of your trunk."

Especially dead guys.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down."
I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“Then I had to decide if I needed to wear shoes that kicked ass or were good for ass kicking, on account of there's a difference you know. ~ Finger Lickin' Fifteen”
― Janet Evanovich

“Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat; it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Lucky

“That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee.
Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli."
I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us."
That too," I said.
Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster.
It's broken,"I told him.
He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven.
That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery," I said to him.
He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "I like things hot.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“I pulled into the Grand Union parking lot and drove to the end of the mall where the bank was located. I parked at a safe distance from other cars, exited the BMW, and set the alarm.

You want me to stay with the car in case someone's riding around with a bomb in his backseat looking for a place to put it?" Lula asked.

Not necessary. Ranger says the car has sensors."

Ranger give you a car with bomb sensors? The head of the CIA don't even have a car with bomb sensors. I hear they give him a stick with a mirror on the end of it.”
― janet evanovich

“Sorry, are you telling me that your demon-slaying buddies need to be driven to their next assignment with the forces of darkness by my mom?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“just because you fail once, it doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself because if you don't, then who will? so keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“Anger is just anger. It isn't good. It isn't bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It's like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice."

Constructive anger," the demon said, her voice dripping sarcasm.

Also known as passion," I said quietly. "Passion has overthrown tyrants and freed prisoners and slaves. Passion has brought justice where there was savagery. Passion has created freedom where there was nothing but fear. Passion has helped souls rise from the ashes of their horrible lives and build something better, stronger, more beautiful.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“If I need you I'll give you a signal.'
'What signal?'
'I'll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl”
― Jim Butcher

“I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.
Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it.
Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”
― Janet Evanovich

“Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still...”
― Janet Evanovich

“I checked my phone messages. Three in all.

The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message.

The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“One must always be careful of books," said Tessa, "and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what he'd learned: that to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
"I was ninety percent sure."
"I see," Clary said. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hands on his cheek, more in surprise than pain.
"What the hell was that for?"
"The other ten percent.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but its the way you live your life that matters.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own