2026 Reading Challenge

Canyon > Canyon's Quotes

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  • #1
    Oscar Wilde
    “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: creation, god, humor, man
    6377 likes

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  • #2
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor
    7874 likes

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  • #3
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humor
    10161 likes

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  • #4
    E.B. White
    “If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
    ― E.B. White
    tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure
    9207 likes

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  • #5
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9903 likes

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  • #6
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9762 likes

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  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23457 likes

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  • #8
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37981 likes

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  • #9
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148412 likes

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  • #10
    Orson Welles
    “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
    ― Orson Welles
    3064 likes

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  • #11
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119066 likes

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  • #12
    H.L. Mencken
    “The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
    ― H.L. Mencken
    tags: age, humor, old, wisdom
    2177 likes

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  • #13
    Ambrose Bierce
    “The covers of this book are too far apart.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit
    1598 likes

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  • #14
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    tags: humor
    152 likes

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  • #15
    Frank Zappa
    “So many books, so little time.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: books, humor
    151430 likes

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  • #16
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34466 likes

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  • #17
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26440 likes

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  • #18
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25649 likes

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  • #19
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21432 likes

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  • #20
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18681 likes

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  • #21
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor, taste
    5971 likes

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  • #22
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
    tags: death, humor, life
    6724 likes

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  • #23
    Carolyn G. Heilbrun
    “A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.”
    ― Amanda Cross
    1713 likes

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  • #24
    Oscar Wilde
    “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: humor
    2750 likes

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  • #25
    D.J. MacHale
    “There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”
    ― D. J. MacHale, The Quillan Games
    tags: clowns, humor, people
    1396 likes

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  • #26
    Ben Elton
    “This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.”
    ― Ben Elton, Bachelor Boys: The Young Ones Book
    tags: humor, violence, vyvyan
    392 likes

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  • #27
    Jonathan Safran Foer
    “Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!”
    ― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
    250 likes

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  • #28
    “If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
    ― Prince Philip
    113 likes

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  • #29
    Douglas Adams
    “Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)”
    ― Douglas Adams
    166 likes

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  • #30
    Steven Pressfield
    “A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.”
    ― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War
    tags: army, horse, humor
    183 likes



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Tags From Canyon’s Quotes

creation
god
humor
man
activism
life
pleasure
genius
insanity
inspirational
scifi
animals
books
dogs
friends
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
age
old
wisdom
criticism
wit
death
fear
open-mind
thinking
taste
clowns
people
violence
vyvyan
army
horse