Ruslan Bes > Ruslan's Quotes

“A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”
― Barney Stinson

“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”
― Barney Stinson

“Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is dead", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.”
― Barney Stinson

“It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!”
― Barney Stinson

“Suit up!”
― Barney Stinson

“Article 2: "A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today”
― Barney Stinson

“You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”
― Barney Stinson

“Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome”
― Barney Stinson

“Article 24: "When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“Article 100: "When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection."
Corollary: "If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall put his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull down to get a better look.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“Dude.. where's your suit? Just once, when I say "suit up" I wish you'd put on a suit.”
― Barney Stinson

“ARTICLE 54 A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“ARTICLE 41 A Bro never cries.   EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.*”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“ARTICLE 120 A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.   EXCEPTION: If a Bro’s last name is also a racial epithet.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“ARTICLE 85 If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. COROLLARY: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they’re whistling at.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“ARTICLE 130 If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.”
― Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“The component structure cannot be designed from the top down. It is not one of the first things about the system that is designed, but rather evolves as the system grows and changes.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Architecture

“If you're good at the debugger it means you spent a lot of time debugging. I don't want you to be good at the debugger.”
― Robert C. Martin

“Slaves are not allowed to say no. Laborers may be hesitant to say no. But
professionals are expected to say no. Indeed, good managers crave someone who
has the guts to say no. It’s the only way you can really get anything done.”
― Robert C. Martin, The Clean Coder: A Code of Conduct for Professional Programmers

“A long descriptive name is better than a short enigmatic name. A long descriptive name is better than a long descriptive comment.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship

“Clean code is not written by following a set of rules. You don’t become a software craftsman by learning a list of heuristics. Professionalism and craftsmanship come from values that drive disciplines.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship

“Every time you write a comment, you should grimace and feel the failure of your ability of expression.”
― Robert C. Martin, The Robert C. Martin Clean Code Collection (Collection)

“Remember that code is really the language in which we ultimately express the requirements. We may create languages that are closer to the requirements. We may create tools that help us parse and assemble those requirements into formal structures. But we will never eliminate necessary precision—so there will always be code.”
― Robert C. Martin

“What would happen if you allowed a bug to slip through a module, and it cost
your company $10,000? The nonprofessional would shrug his shoulders, say
“stuff happens,” and start writing the next module. The professional would
write the company a check for $10,000!”
― Robert C. Martin, The Clean Coder: A Code of Conduct for Professional Programmers

“Why do most developers fear to make continuous changes to their code? They are afraid they’ll break it! Why are they afraid they’ll break it? Because they don’t have tests.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Coder, The: A Code of Conduct for Professional Programmers

“When you are working on a problem, you sometimes get so close to it that you can’t see all the options. You miss elegant solutions because the creative part of your mind is suppressed by the intensity of your focus. Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to go home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, and then wake up the next morning and take a shower.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Coder, The: A Code of Conduct for Professional Programmers

“Of course bad code can be cleaned up. But it’s very expensive.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship

“You are reading this book for two reasons. First, you are a programmer. Second, you want to be a better programmer. Good. We need better programmers.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship

“Redundant comments are just places to collect lies and misinformation.”
― Robert C. Martin, Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship