Jamble > Jamble's Quotes

“People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings

“Unknowing ignorance is preferable to informed stupidity.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker

“I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Sharp as hell," Lightsong said, "but lacking a point.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker

“Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“You're a very difficult person to manipulate, you know."
"Nonsense," he said. "You just have to promise me that I won't have to do a thing, and then I'll do anything you want."
"Anything?"
"Anything that doesn't require doing anything."
"That's nothing, then."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's something.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker

“This is going to take a while. I'm a fantasy author. We have trouble with the concept of brevity.”
― Brandon Sanderson

“Personally, I say, "Out of the frying pan and into the deadly pit filled with sharks who are wielding chainsaws with killer kittens stapled to them." However, that one's having a rough time catching on.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“I would have lived in peace. But my enemies brought me war.”
― Pierce Brown, Red Rising

“Funny thing, watching gods realize they’ve been mortal all along.”
― Pierce Brown, Red Rising

“Personally, I do not want to make you a man. Men are so very frail. Men break. Men die. No, I’ve always wished to make a god.”
― Pierce Brown, Red Rising

“He always thinks because I’m reading, I’m not doing anything. There is no greater plague to an introvert than the extroverted.”
― Pierce Brown, Golden Son

“For seven hundred years, my people have been enslaved without voice, without hope. Now I am their sword. And I do not forgive. I do not forget. So let him lead me onto his shuttle. Let him think he owns me. Let him welcome me into his house, so I might burn it down.”
― Pierce Brown, Golden Son

“Bye, Felicia.”
― Pierce Brown, Morning Star

“In war, men lose what makes them great. Their creativity. Their wisdom. Their joy. All that’s left is their utility.”
― Pierce Brown, Morning Star

“Royce saw to his horse’s needs; then, finding a suitable place, he unrolled his blanket and lay down.

“I take it we’re camping here, then?”

Royce said nothing, still refusing to acknowledge his existence.

“You could have said, ‘We’re going to bed down here for the rest of the night.’ No, wait, you’re right, too much. How about ‘sleeping here’? Two words. Even you could manage that, right? I mean, I know you can talk. You had plenty to say back in Arcadius’s office. Couldn’t keep the words from coming out then, but no, utterly impossible to indicate in any way that we’ll be stopping here for the night.”

Hadrian dismounted and began unloading Dancer. “How long were we on the road?” He paused to look up at the moon. “What? Five, six hours? Not a damn word. Getting chilly out, don’t you think, Hadrian? Moon looks like a fingernail, ain’t that right, Hadrian? That tree looks like a goddamn bear, don’t it, Hadrian? Nothing. By the way, in case you hadn’t noticed, I was attacked by a goshawk and a pig-riding dwarf that shot eggs at me with a sling. I was knocked from my horse and wrestled with the dwarf, the hawk, and the pig for what had to be half an hour. The dwarf kept smashing eggs in my face, and that ruddy pig pinned me down, licking them off. I only got away because the dwarf ran out of eggs. Then the hawk turned into a moth that became distracted by the light of the moon.”
Royce shifted to his side, hood up.

“Yeah, well … thank Maribor and Novron I didn’t need your help that time.”

“Didn’t care for my help too much in the stable,” Royce said.

“It speaks!”
― Michael J. Sullivan, The Crown Tower

“Dear Maribor, you’re heavy,” Hadrian growled as he untied the rope.

“No, I’m not. You’re wounded.” Royce moved his hand and felt the blood-soaked clothes. “God, we’re bleeding like a slit throat.”

“You’re bleeding more than me,” Hadrian said.

“Oh, does that make you feel better?”

“Actually it does.”
― Michael J. Sullivan, The Crown Tower

“Same reason you're trying to sell your nightshirt," Royce replied.
"For rum?"
"Rum?" Hadrian said. "Not food?"
Albert shrugged. "That's what I do with all my money. It helps take my mind off the fact that I spent all my money on rum.”
― Michael J. Sullivan, The Rose and the Thorn

“Believing the worst of people, of the world in general, was a trap too easy to fall into. Hadrian had fought beside soldiers who'd developed similar views. Such men saw evil and virtue as concepts of naïveté. In their minds, there was no such thing as murder, an killing was just something you did when circumstances warranted.
A terrible way to live. What good is a world - what is the point of living - if generosity and kindness are myths?”
― Michael J. Sullivan, The Death of Dulgath

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Deception begins with bureaucracy,” Palpatine said.”
― James Luceno, Darth Plagueis