Quotes - Cheryl Mcintyre (Nashville, TN) Showing 1-30 of 509

#1

“I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn’t even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get drunk and look like a stroke victim.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

231 likes

#2

“I quickly tried to do the math but my brain was a jumbled mess and I couldn’t remember what number comes after potato!”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

197 likes

#3

“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of crying children in line to see Santa why my kid was screaming ‘DON’T GO NEAR HIM! HE’LL EAT YOUR FINGERS!’ was no picnic.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

131 likes

#4

“Water? At a wedding? I don’t understand,” he asks in confusion. “Did you invite Jesus? That’s the only way that will be acceptable.”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

177 likes

#5

“Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through me.

"You also threw up in the emergency room parking lot, called Drew and told him you were the Donkey Punch Dick Queen and filled out a Last Will and Testament on a Burger King napkin and then asked the drive-thru worker to notarize it.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

tags: hilarity

122 likes

#6

“Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder." Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

tags: chocolate-lovers, seduction-and-snacks, tara-sivec

85 likes

#7

“Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep with a blow-up doll? Again? I pealed my eyes open one at a time so the rays of sun shining in the room wouldn't make me go blind. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked down and groaned. Nope, not drunk, just hugging a pillow.”
― Tara Sivec

tags: humor, seduction-and-snacks, tara-sivec

26 likes

#8

“I should have sold you to that traveling circus when you were four.”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

66 likes

#9

“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a present with a nice card that says, "Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show you may gratitude!”
― Tara Sivec

tags: humor, humour

53 likes

#10

“No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

115 likes

#11

“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately” Carter muttered.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

238 likes

#12

“If you two yentas are finished discussing Claire’s rabid who-ha, me and the boys would like to eat sometime this century."

"You and 'the boys?' You just met them today. Does the Ya Ya Brotherhood already have a secret handshake and a password?" Liz joked.”
― T.J. Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

tags: humorous-quotes

151 likes

#13

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

tags: read, readers, reading, reading-books

35689 likes

#14

“A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading.”
― William Styron, Conversations with William Styron

13151 likes

#15

“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
― Voltaire

9010 likes

#16

“... a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

tags: books, mind

16627 likes

#17

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

1230 likes

#18

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!

23673 likes

#19

“Life is a storm. One minute you will bathe under the sun and the next you will be shattered upon the rocks. That's when you shout, "Do your worst, for I will do mine!" and you will be remembered forever.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

118 likes

#20

“When you compare the sorrows of real life to the pleasures of the imaginary one, you will never want to live again, only to dream forever.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

tags: dreams, fantasy, life, living, pain, suffering

1061 likes

#21

“Pussy punch: when a twat tap just isn't enough”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

tags: hilariousness

184 likes

#22