Abusers Abuse Abandonment Quotes

“This is particularly true of those who "love too much" and those who tend to lose themselves in their relationships. Sometimes our love becomes distorted by our feelings of insecurity and our fear of abandonment. This is the often the case with those who become overly controlling and overly smothering of their partner. Others become emotionally abusive because of their fear of intimacy.”
― Beverly Engel, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

“The mind can be bent without battering the body ... The controlling man knows exactly what he is doing—even when, or especially when, he appears to be out of control or “unpredictable.” ... One moment he’s Mister Nice Guy: generous, charming, ebullient, entertaining. The next, he’s blowing his stack, and then denying what’s just happened, or claiming he’s been “misconstrued" ("I never said that!") and making nice again ... That seemingly unpredictable behavior is toxic because once you’ve felt an incendiary blast of wrath and scorn, you’re likely to do almost anything to avoid “setting him off” again. But it wasn’t you who triggered him. In fact, the controller sets himself off when it serves his purposes, not yours, and he leaves you scrambling to figure out how to deal with him without setting him off again.

... the controller “monopolizes the perception” ... that is, he draws all attention to himself. He strives to eliminate any distractions competing for attention, and he behaves with enough inconsistency to keep his potential victims off-balance, focused on him alone, and—whether they know it or not—seeking to comply.”
― Ann Jones

“It can be really painful and frustrating when people distort or manipulate their own previous words, especially if it feels like they're doing it to deceive or harm others.
Remember people's words and actions often reflect their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations.
Remember, everyone deserve respect and honesty in relationships. If someone's words and actions consistently cause harm, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.”
― Shaila Touchton

“Beware the man who woos with words, but lives off others' wealth – his love is a ruse, his heart a mercenary.”
― Shaila Touchton