Akwardness Quotes

“Hey, uh, you know. Um. If you’re alive, uh, call me." I looked at the screen and said, "It's Jane." I closed the phone, thinking, Lame. I am so lame.”
― Faith Hunter, Death's Rival

“Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!"

"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted.
"I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!”
― Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

“That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I throw the glitter into the air, and while the person I'm talking to is distracted, I run away. An additional benefit is that I look like a cool magician, so I've got that going for me.”
― Jonathan Acuff

“Can dragons fly?"
The apparent change of subject didn't seem to startle the Mage. "No. Not at all. They do not have wings, ... "If you want a flying spell creature, you need a Roc."
"A what?"
"A Roc. It is a giant bird," Alain explained.
Mari shook her head. "A giant bird. I'm crazy to be listening to this, you know that?"
"I have thought…” He fumbled for words, for a moment looking just like any other seventeen-year-old young man. Was that actually embarrassment showing? “You might…be interested…someday….in flying…on a Roc. I mean…with me.” 
“Are you asking me on a date?” Mari tried desperately not to laugh at his discomfort. “A date on a giant bird?”
“Um…I do not know…just something to do…together. That is not dangerous,” Alain added hastily. 
“Doing something together, that isn’t dangerous?” Mari asked. “That would be a change of pace for us, wouldn’t it? … "Have you ever gone…flying…with a girl before?” 
Was he blushing? Just the faintest hint of it, but—stars above. She had made a Mage blush. 
“No,” Alain said.”
― Jack Campbell, The Dragons of Dorcastle