Annika And Jonathan Quotes

“All I wanted was to show you that I've changed. That I'm not the same person I was in college." She sounds defeated.
"Well, guess what? You haven't changed all that much. You're still the same girl I fell in love with at twenty-two. And here's a newsflash: I like that girl and always have, and I never once said I wanted her to change.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“She catches me off guard when she throws her arms around my neck and hugs me. I groan softly when I register the smell of her skin. Liz had been a big believer in pheromones and though her scent hadn't done much for me, I have a feeling she wasn't all that drawn to mine either. I don't know if I buy into that kind of thing, but whatever the cause, catching a whiff of Annika has always had a strong effect on me. I can't explain what she smells like because it's indescribable. On the rare occasion when she wasn't spending the night in my bed at my college department, I would switch pillows and lay my head on hers. The odd thing is that Annika couldn't stand perfume and only used unscented soap, so whatever I detected had to be coming straight from inside her.
This obviously isn't our first date, and following some sort of protocol seems arbitrary and juvenile. I mean, we've seen each other naked. I know the sounds she makes when she's turned on. There aren't many places on her body that my fingers and mouth haven't explained.
I hug her back and though it's hard to let her go at the end, I do.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“One of the best things about reconnecting with Annika is how natural it feels to be with her. Standing on the sidewalk, I wonder if she remembers how it felt to be in love with me.
I haven't forgotten how it felt to be in love with her.
As soon as we're settled in the back of the cab, she snuggles up next to me. Her body relaxes until I can feel her melting into me. She goes limp and falls asleep with her head on my chest. I don't mind at all, and I hold her until we get home. With my arms around her, she feels like mine again.
It's only when we're inside her department that I realize the evening- and the performance required of her to endure it- has taken everything she had and there's simply nothing left.
She's done.
She walks into the bedroom, and I follow. She pulls a T-shirt out of a dresser drawer and turns her back to me, not because she's upset that I followed, but so that I can unzip her dress. I oblige, and as soon as I've lowered it, the dress hits the floor. Her bra and underwear follow, which tells me that modesty is still a completely foreign concept to her. I'm not going to ogle her like the horny college student I once was, but I appreciate the view of her naked backside just the same. She turns around and when I see the front view, maybe I ogle just a little.
I mean, I'm human.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“Jonathan had started leaning over and kissing me every time he captured one of my pieces, and this time, he pulled the collar of my sweater aside and kissed his way from my mouth, down the side of my neck, and finally to my collarbone.
"Is that okay?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Every time you lose a turn, I'm going to do it again."
"I won't lose," I said, because I believed it. But then I realized I wanted Jonathan to keep doing it. Not enough to lose on purpose, because the concept of intentional deception wasn't something that would have occurred to me. It was only the next day when I recounted the whole thing for Janice and she asked me if I was tempted to lose on purpose that I realized I could have pretended.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“They'll take one look at you and forget how to play the game."
"I don't think so," I said. "These players are really good. I can't imagine they'd suddenly forget how to play."
"I meant because you're so pretty. They'll be too busy looking at you and it will blow their concentration."
"That probably won't happen."
He let out a short laugh. "Just me then, huh?"
My brain figured out what he meant a few minutes later and I yelled "Oh" loud enough to make Jonathan jump in his seat a little. "Were you flirting with me?"
"I was trying to. I thought I was halfway decent at it, but now I'm not so sure."
"Jonathan?"
He took his eyes off the road for a second and looked over at me.
"I totally thought you were flirting. I was just making sure."
Then he gave me another one of those smiles I'd told Janice about.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“Miss, you can't come in here like that," a voice said. I didn't realize it was directed at me until Jonathan said, "Annika, where are your shoes?" It felt like one of those moments when you're talking too loud because you're in a noisy place but then the noise stops suddenly and everyone looks to see who's shouting. Except I wasn't shouting. I was standing in line at a diner in my bare feet, and everyone was looking down at my hot pink painted toenails. I hadn't done it intentionally; I'd just forgotten to slip my shoes back on before we got out of the truck.
My face flamed, and I turned toward the door, panicking when I tried to pull it open instead of pushing. It rattled as I shook it and when I finally comprehended how it worked, I burst through it and fled to the parking lot. Jonathan caught up to me as I jerked on the door handle of his truck. "Hold on, it's locked," he said. He put in the key and opened the door for me. "Don't worry about it. Just put on your shoes and we'll go back in."
I climbed into the truck and wiped the tears that spilled from my eyes with the back of my hand. Jonathan stood patiently next to the door, waiting.
"I can't go back in there."
"Why not?"
"You go ahead. I'll wait here."
"Annika, it's no big deal."
"Please don't make me go in," I cried.
He placed his hands, palm side down, on my legs, and his touch comforted me in a way I'd never felt before. He made me feel protected, as if he'd never let anything bad happen to me. "Stay here. Lock the door, and I'll be back in a minute."
He closed the door, and I pushed down on the lock as he walked back into the diner. Through the glass, I watched him talk to the team and then make his way to the counter. He returned to the truck five minutes later carrying a white paper bag.
I reached over and unlocked his door. "I told them you were tired and that the competition really took it out of you so we decided we'd head back. They were totally cool. Wanted me to tell you again how great you did today. I got sandwiches and pie. Do you like pie?"
I no longer had any doubt about the kind of guy Jonathan was.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
"Go out with you where?" I asked.
"On a date. We can go wherever you want."
I couldn't believe he still wanted to be seen with me, let alone take me someplace willingly. Jake had never asked me to go anywhere with him, and the food Jonathan had just shared with me had been the closest I'd ever come to having a meal with a member of the opposite sex.
It was the closest thing I'd had to a date of any kind.
"Why would you want to do that?" Why would anyone? My humiliation felt palpable by then, and I instantly regretted asking the question. Why heap more embarrassment on top of what I'd already brought upon myself?
"Because I think you're really pretty and I like you." When I didn't say anything, he dropped my hand and shoved his into his pockets. "I feel like I can be myself with you."
All my life, I'd been waiting for someone I could be myself with. It had never occurred to me that I could be that person for someone else. His words choked me up and made me feel like crying.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“I liked that he didn't seem to mind taking things slow. Sometimes we'd read books, my head in his lap as he played with my hair or stroked my head. Jonathan had started to alleviate some of the loneliness I faced on a daily basis, and the time I spent with him highlighted how much better it was to experience things with someone who cared about you in a way that was different from your roommate or family. For years, I'd ordered my hamburgers plain and never entertained the possibility of eating them any other way until Janice gave me one with ketchup, and I realized how much better it tasted. "You're like the ketchup in my life," I'd told Jonathan one night on the phone, and he laughed.
"I don't know what that means, exactly, but if it makes you happy, I'm honored to be your condiment." That was another thing I really liked about him. He never made me feel stupid about the weird things that came out of my mouth.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“Shortly after Ryan and I broke up, I returned to the solitude I normally enjoyed, appreciating the simplicity of my life because I no longer had to walk on eggshells around a man. But now that time had passed, the loneliness had started reappearing like a growing tidal wave in the distance. I could feel it building and when it finally reached me, I would spend the rest of the day or night restless and fighting tears. It would eventually pass, but the episodes were becoming more frequent. I tried to fill my days with more social interaction, but that only left me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. A personal connection with someone was what I craved the most. Someone who understood my needs and was willing to speak my language.
Someone like Jonathan.
I avert my eyes as I answer him. "I don't mind spending time alone, but sometimes I do get very lonely."
Jonathan leans over and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close as I fight back tears. "Not everyone can look past their own hang-ups to see what I see. It's their loss."
When Jonathan said things like that, it propped me up and took away a little of the sting from the people who'd tried to tear me down or make me feel like a second-class citizen because I viewed things differently than they did. Ten years ago, I might not have been clear on what Jonathan was saying, but that had changed. Tina had taught me that it was important to surround myself with people who understood me. People who were secure about their own place in the world. It wasn't always easy to identify who those people were, but I was much better at it now than I had been in the past.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know

“I love you, Jonathan."
"I love you, too. I've been thinking about how I was going to tell you."
"If you've been thinking about it, why didn't you just say it?"
"Because the first time you say it to someone, you hope they'll say it back. And if you're not sure they will..."
"Why wouldn't I say it back? I did say it. Just now." I thought I was the one confused by relationships and everything that went along with them.
"Maybe there was a small part of me that worried you wouldn't. I don't always know what's going on up there," he said, tapping my temple gently.
"I never know what people are thinking. It's like visiting a country where you don't speak the language and you're trying so hard to understand but no matter how many times you ask for juice, they keep bringing you milk. And I hate it.”
― Tracey Garvis Graves, The Girl He Used to Know