Appliances Quotes

“In that case, it's good that you're a human Cuisinart," she said.
"I'm sorry?"
"A Cuisinart. It's an appliance from the Broken. You put vegetables into it, push a button, and it chops them into tiny pieces."
Richard frowned. "Why would you need an appliance to chop vegetables? Wouldn't it be easier to chop them with a knife?"
"It's meant to save time," she explained.
"Does it?"
"Well, cleaning it usually eats up most of the time you save on chopping."
"So you're telling me that I'm useless."
"It's a neat gadget!"
"And I'm hard to clean, apparently."
She checked his face. Tiny sparks danced in his eyes. He was pulling her leg. Well. If that's how it is... "Considering last night's argument, I think that you're remarkably difficult to clean."
"There probably is a retort to this that's not off-color," he said. "But I can't think of one.”
― Ilona Andrews, Steel's Edge

“Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.”
― Lish McBride, Necromancing the Stone

“But before any of the small appliances who may be listening to this tale should begin to think that they might do the same thing, let them be warned: ELECTRICITY IS VERY DANGEROUS. Never play with old batteries! Never put your plug in a strange socket! And if you are in any doubt about the voltage of the current where you are living, ask a major appliance.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“But the toaster was quite satisfied with itself, thank you. Though it knew from magazines that there were toasters who could toast four slices at a time, it didn't think that the master, who lived alone and seemed to have few friends, would have wanted a toaster of such institutional proportions. With toast, it's quality that matters, not quantity.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“In any case, muffins that are only imaginary aren't liable to get stuck.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“Gender and the complications it gives rise to simply aren't relevant to the lives appliances lead.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“So, without saying anything to the others, it made its way to the farthest corner of the meadow and began to toast an imaginary muffin. That was always the best way to unwind when things got to be too much for it.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“You know how you smack your appliances when they’re broken and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.”
― Nitya Prakash

“One of the main downsides of not being poor or broke is that you are quick to replace even what can be fixed by you.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana