Barstools Quotes

“A termite walks into the bar, slowly crawls up on the bar stool and says, "I have been searching all over town and have been to bars all over, been to five just on this block, I am old, tired and in my senior years and my choppers don't work well anymore -- tell me now please: Where, Oh where is the Bar tender?”
― Scott Edward Shjefte

“Todd’s wife was one of those women with a forced smile perpetually cemented on her face. Even after being chased by a mob of homicidal maniacs and attempting to barricade doors with barstools she kept up appearances, practicing for the days when her husband would be running for public office. When she saw her son poking at their former mail carrier’s dead body a look of utter horror came across her face for the slightest instant. She caught herself and put that smile back on so quickly Will wondered if she might have pulled a few cheek muscles.
“Trevor!” she hissed through clenched teeth. “Trevor, you get away from that this instant! You don’t know what kind of diseases that man had. Children shouldn’t play with dead things.”
Will looked at Todd and smirked. “Cute kid. How many of those things do you think are out there?”
― Ian McClellan, One Undead Step

“I have been searching all over town and have been to bars all over, been to five just on this block, I am old, tired and in my senior years and my choppers don't work well anymore -- tell me now please: Where, Oh where is the Bar tender?”
― Scott Edward Shjefte

“It's hilarious that having a cushion on a barstool to make it more comfortable is considered a feminine touch, but there you go. Maybe it's a mark of masculine virility to have a sore butt.”
― Mallory O'Meara, Girly Drinks: A World History of Women and Alcohol – A James Beard Award-Winning Nonfiction Book About Mixology and Society