Bawdy Comedy Quotes

“HAMLET: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
OPHELIA: No, my lord.
HAMLET: I mean, my head upon your lap?
OPHELIA: Ay, my lord.
HAMLET: Do you think I mean country matters?
OPHELIA: I think nothing, my lord.
HAMLET: That's a fair thought - to lie between maids' legs.
OPHELIA: What is, my lord?
HAMLET: Nothing.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

“Cyclops Hill by Stewart Stafford

To the cock-fights,
O’er the briny pit,
Grimy coin, grubby fist,
Lip service i’ foaming fit.

Fish or fowl, bestir them on,
I’ll ne’er stop mine’s feat,
An oracle for all-comers,
Frolicsome backing i’ th’ heat.

Odds be the usurer’s friend,
Victor and vanquished spent,
Trudge away in silent mourn,
To kindly pay the tavern’s rent.

© 2026, Stewart Stafford. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford