Beautiful Boy Quotes

“A world of contradictions, wherein everything is gray and almost nothing is black and white.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Fortunately I have a son, my beautiful boy
Unfortunately he is a drug addict.
Fortunately he is in recovery.
Unfortunately he relapses.
Fortunately he is in recovery again.
Unfortunately he relapses.
Fortunately he is not dead.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Her hands crept around his neck, tangling in his hair to keep him closer, even though she knew that beautiful boys with expiration dates couldn't be held, only borrowed for a time.”
― Martina Boone

“I didn't cause it. I can't control it. I can't cure it.”
― David Sheff

“It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“I would miss having Nic in my life. I would miss his funny phone messages and his humor, the stories, our talks, our walks, watching movies with him, dinners together, and the transcendent feeling between us that is love.
I would miss all of it.
I miss it now.
And here it sinks in: I don't have it now. I have not had it whenever Nic has been on drugs.
Nic is absent, only his shell remains. I have been afraid - terrified - to lose Nic, but I have lost him.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Nic is writing 'I am sorry', and I want to cry. No, I think, don't let him in again. No don't let him in again. No don't let him in again.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“i have a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. and that terrifies me to the point where i can barely function.”
― Kurt Cobain, Journals

“Fortunately I have a son, my beautiful boy.
Unfortunately he is a drug addict.
Fortunately he is in recovery.
Unfortunately he relapses.
Fortunately he is in recovery again.
Unfortunately he relapses.
Fortunately he is in recovery again.
Unfortunately he relapses.
Fortunately he is not dead.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Nic begins writing hard, a word, I, two words, am, three words, sorry, writes them again, writes them again, writes them again, writes them again. He cannot, it seems, stop writing them. It is bullshit, a cheap attempt at - it is not bullshit, he is trying with excruciating desperation, which I can feel coming from him, to say something, to get out something that he cannot get out.
It's easy to forget that no matter how hard it is for us, it is harder for him.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“I see Nic on the plane. I see him as he is - frail, opaque, ill - my beloved son, my beautiful boy.
"Everything," I say to him.
"Everything."
Fortunately there is a beautiful boy.
Unfortunately he has a terrible disease.
Fortunately there is love and joy.
Unfortunately there is pain and misery.
Fortunately the story is not over.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Here's a note to the parents of addicted children: choose your music carefully. Avoid Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World", from the Polaroid or Kodak or whichever commercial, and the songs "Turn Around" and "Sunrise, Sunset" and - there are thousands more. Avoid Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time," and this one, Eric Clapton's song about his son. Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" sneaked up on me one time. The music doesn't have to be sentimental. Springsteen can be dangerous. John and Yoko. Bjork. Dylan. I become overwhelmed when I hear Nirvana. I want to scream like Kurt Cobain. I want to scream at him. Music isn't all that does it. There are millions of treacherous moments. Driving along Highway 1, I will see a peeling wave. Or I will reach the fork where two roads meet near Rancho Nicasio, where we veered to the left in carpool. A shooting star on a still night at the crest of Olema Hill. With friends, I hear a good joke - one that Nic would appreciate. The kids do something funny or endearing. A story. A worn sweater. A movie. Feeling wind and looking up, riding my bike. A million moments.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Fortunately there is a beautiful boy, unfortunately he has a terrible disease. Fortunately there is love and joy, unfortunately there is pain and misery. Fortunately this story is not over.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“I want to come down," Nic said suddenly.
"It's OK, Nic. You're fine. Just take it slowly."
"I can't," he called. "I'm stuck."
"You can," I said. "You can do it."
"I can't get down." He began crying.
"Take your time," I said. "Find one foothold at a time. Go slowly."
"I can't."
"You can."
He wrapped his gangly legs and arms tighter around the branch.
"I'll fall."
"You won't."
"I will."
I stood directly underneath and yelled up to him, "You're fine. Take your time." I said it, but I was thinking, I'll catch you if you fall.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Nic ha fatto uso di droghe, a fasi alterne, per oltre un decennio, e in quegli anni credo di avere sentito, pensato e fatto quasi tutto quello che un genitore può sentire, pensare e fare.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Why do I want to meet him? No matter how unrealistic, I retain a sliver of hope that I can get through to him. That's not quite accurate. I know I can't, but at least I can put my fingertips on his cheek.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Since reason and love, the forces I had come to rely on in my life, have betrayed me, I am in unknown territory.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Substance abusers lie about everything, and usually do an awesome job of it." Stephen King once wrote. "It's the liar's disease." Nic once told me, quoting an AA platitude, "An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie about it. A drug addict will steal your wallet and then help you look for it." Part of me is convinced that he actually believes that he will find it for you.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“Now the children are asleep. Karen and I are in bed reading. Brutus is running in his sleep. I put down my book and lie here, trying to comprehend exactly what it is that I'm feeling. Parents of addicts learn to temper our hope even as we never completely lose hope. However, we are terrified of optimism, fearful that it will be punished. It is safer to shut down. But I am open again, and as a consequence I feel the pain and joy of the past and worry about and hope for the future. I know what it is I feel. Everything.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“My drawing - now there are drops, tears, from the two branches of the tributary and six circles above it. Then I know - I have drawn the opening up of my brain and all that is in there - tears pain blood rage terror. The broken suitcase with the circles, its contents - me, former me - spilling out.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

“One girl, Nic's friend, says how different the images are in our family's pictures and how intense each one is, but she says that Nic's heart leads into ventricles and my stream of chalk looks like a broken artery.
Somehow I am crying. Nic's hand is on my shoulder.”
― David Sheff, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction