Bedside Manner Quotes

“Dr. Bone Specialist came in, made me stand up and hobble across the room, checked my reflexes, and then made me lie down on the table. He bent my right knee this way and that, up and down, all the way out to the side and in. Then he did the same with my left leg. He ordered X rays then started to leave the room. I panicked. I MUST GET DRUGS.

"What can I take for the pain?" I asked him before he got out the door.

"You can take some over the counter ibuprofen," he suggested. "But I wouldn't take more than nine a day."

I choked. Nine a day? I'd been popping forty. Nine a day? Like hell. I couldn't even go to the bathroom on my own, I hadn't slept in three weeks, and my normally sunny cheery disposition had turned into that of a very rabid dog. If I didn't get good drugs and get them now, it was straight to Shooter's World and then Walgreens pharmacy for me.

"I don't think you understand," I explained. "I can't go to work. I have spent the last four days with my mother who is addicted to QVC, watching jewelry shows, doll shows and make-up shows. I almost ordered a beef-jerky maker! Give me something, or I'm going to use your calf muscles to make the first batch!"

Without further ado, he hastily scribbled out a prescription for some codeine and was gone. I was happy.

My mother, however, had lost the ability to speak.”
― Laurie Notaro, The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life

“a psychiatrist without compassion is a terrifying thing indeed”
― Jamie Deckoff-Jones

“The midpoint in medicine between excessive emotional involvement with patients and a complete lack of empathy is not a simple one to locate.”
― Christine Montross, Body of Work: Meditations on Mortality from the Human Anatomy Lab

“Smile Before Pills (Sonnet 1402)

The only permanence we have is each other,
The only paradise we have is each other.
Heaven is as real as we are to each other,
Most potent medicine we have is each other.

One moment of love is time eternal,
100 years of hate are but ghost of wild past.
One rebellion of love is destiny in making,
100 rituals of hate are just monkeys' mass.

A smile works faster than a pill,
both metaphorically and physiologically.
Pills take hours to reach your bloodstream, while
a smile triggers instant release of neurochemicals,
which alleviates pain and facilitates immunity.

Sure, pills and prescriptions are a scientific boon,
They achieve wonders where organic powers fall short.
Yet, there is no prescription for a mannerless medico,
There is no pharmaceutical cure for a medical upstart.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Dervis Vadisi: 100 Promissory Sonnets