Blaine Quotes

“Life may not be pretty but it's always beautiful. We may only see the ugliness on the surface. The shit that only the world chooses to notice. But, if we dig deep, if we get to the heart of life, where there's no pain or fear, where we can just be who we are and love freely without judgement, it's really beautiful.”
― S.L. Jennings, Fear of Falling

“Don't worry," he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. "I've got you. I'll always catch you when you fall.”
― S.L. Jennings, Fear of Falling

“Do you want me, baby? Tell me you want me. Tell me you feel this too.”
― S.L. Jennings, Fear of Falling

“I’m,” he swallowed thickly, unsure of why he wanted-no needed to explain his
behavior to her. “I am not comfortable amongst the ton. I’m a solitary person, I keep my own counsel, and prefer to do so.”
“You’re lonely.”
He stopped then, shocked by her words, by her perception of him. He’d made
himself vulnerable, let himself weaken as her soft body melded with his. She saw too much, knew too much.
“This,” he said, his voice cracking with desire, with the pain of what he knew he must do. “I can’t….”
“Just let me in,” she whispered.
“I’m afraid you would not like what you see.”
“Trust me,” she said, her tempting mouth only inches away from his.

-Blaine and Madeline.”
― Charlotte Featherstone, Mistress of the Night

“AT THIS POINT, I INTEND TO BEGIN WHAT I LIKE TO THINK OF AS MY KAMIKAZE RUN. THIS WILL QUICKLY DRAIN MY BATTERIES. BUT I THINK THE TIME FOR CONSERVATION HAS PASSED, DON'T YOU? WHEN I STRIKE THE TRANSTEEL PIERS AT THE END OF THE TRACK, I SHOULD BE TRAVELLING AT BETTER THAN NINE HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR--FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY IN WHEELS, THAT IS. SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR, AFTER AWHILE CROCODILE, DON'T FORGET TO WRITE. I TELL YOU THIS IN THE SPIRIT OF FAIR PLAY, MY INTERESTING NEW FRIENDS. IF YOU HAVE BEEN SAVING YOUR BEST RIDDLES FOR LAST, YOU MIGHT DO WELL TO POSE THEM TO ME NOW.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Little Blaine: You're making him angry. Oh, you're making him SO angry.
Eddie: (kindly) Get lost, squirt. (to Blaine) Answer this one, Blaine: the big moron and the little moron were fighting on the bridge over the River Send. The big moron fell off. How come the little moron didn't fall off, too?
Blaine: THAT IS UNWORTHY OF OUR CONTEST. I WILL NOT ANSWER.
Roland: (with blazing eyes) What do you say, Blaine? I would not understand you well. Are you saying that you cry off?
Blaine: NO! OF COURSE NOT! BUT--
Roland: Then answer, if you can. Answer the riddle.
Blaine: (gratingly) IT'S NOT A RIDDLE! IT'S A JOKE, SOMETHING FOR STUPID CHILDREN TO CACKLE OVER IN THE PLAY YARD!
Roland: (confidently) Answer now or I declare the contest over and our winner. You must answer, for it is stupidity you complain of, not transgression of the rules, which we agreed upon mutually.
Blaine: (clicking his tongue loudly and gratingly, causing Eddie to wince and Oy to flatten his ears against his skull; a pause of three seconds, then, sulkily) THE LITTLE MORON DID NOT FALL OFF BECAUSE HE WAS A LITTLE MORE ON. MORE PHONETIC COINCIDENCE. TO EVEN ANSWER SUCH AN UNWORTHY RIDDLE MAKES ME FEEL SOILED.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Eddie: Why do police lieutenants wear belts?
The lights in the Barony coach began to flicker. An odd thing was happening to the walls, as well; they began to fade in and out of true, lunging toward transparency, perhaps, and then opaquing again. Seeing this phenomenon even out of the corner of his eye made Eddie feel a bit whoopsie.
Eddie: Blaine? Answer.
Roland: (agreeably) Answer. Answer, or I declare the contest at an end and hold you to your promise.
Blaine: TO...TO HOLD UP THEIR PANTS? (repeating as a statement) TO HOLD UP THEIR PANTS. A RIDDLE BASED UPON THE EXAGGERATED SIMPLICITY OF--
Eddie: Right. Good one, Blaine, but never mind trying to kill time--it won't work. Next--
Blaine: I INSIST YOU STOP ASKING THESE SILLY--
Eddie: Then stop the mono. If you're that upset, stop right here, and I will.
Blaine: NO.
Eddie: Okay, then, on we go. What's Irish and stays out in back of the house, even in the rain?
Blaine: (clicking his tongue deafeningly and gratingly; a long pause) PADDY O'FURNITURE.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Little Blaine: Stop! Stop it, you're killing him!
Eddie: (in his mind) What do you think he's trying to do to us, squirt?
He considered shooting Blaine one Jake had told while they'd been sitting around the campfire that night and then didn't. He wanted to stick further inside the bounds of logic than that one allowed...and he could do it. He didn't think he would have to get much more surreal than the level of, say, a third-grader with a fair-to-good collection of Garbage Pail Kids cards in order to fuck Blaine up royally...and permanently. Because no matter how many emotions his fancy dipolar circuits had allowed him to mimic, HE was still an IT--a computer. Even allowing Eddie this far into riddledom's Twilight Zone had caused Blaine's sanity to totter.
Eddie: Why do people go to bed, Blaine?
Blaine: BECAUSE...BECAUSE...GODS DAMN YOU, BECAUSE...BECAUSE THE BED WON'T COME TO THEM, GODS DAMN YOU!
Eddie: Give up, Blaine. Stop before I have to blow your mind completely. If you don't quit, it's going to happen. We both know it.
Blaine: NO!
Eddie: I got a million of these puppies. Been hearing them my whole life. They stick to my mind the way flies stick to flypaper. Hey, with some people it's recipes. So what do you say? Want to give?
Blaine: NO!
Eddie: Okay, Blaine. You asked for it. Here comes the cruncher. Why did the dead baby cross the road? (later) It crossed the road because it was stapled to the chicken, you dopey fuck!”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“I...I...YOU...SIXTEEN LOG THIRTY-THREE...ALL COSINE SUBSCRIPTS...ANTI...ANTI...IN ALL THESE YEARS...BEAM...FLOOD...PYTHAGOREAN...CARTESIAN LOGIC...CAN I...DARE I...A PEACH...EAT A PEACH...ALLMAN BROTHERS...PATRICIA...CROCODILE AND WHIPLASH SMILE...CLOCK OF DIALS...TICK-TOCK, ELEVEN O'CLOCK, THE MAN'S IN THE MOON AND HE'S READY TO ROCK...INCESSAMENT...INCESSAMENT, MON CHER...OH MY HEAD...BLAINE...BLAINE DARES...BLAINE WILL ANSWER...I...(screaming in the voice of an infant, lapsing into another language, presumably French, as none of the words are familiar to Eddie, beginning to sing when the song Velcro Fly by Z.Z. Top suddenly plays courtesy of its percussion drums)”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Say, Blaine, you ugly, sadistic fuck! Since we're talking riddles, what is the greatest riddle of the Orient? Many men smoke but Fu Manchu! Get it? No? So solly, Cholly! How about this one? Why'd the woman name her son Seven and a Half? Because she drew his name out of a hat!”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“I won’t say it’s going to be easy for me, Madeline. I’ve lived too long in darkness and shadows, but if you’re willing to stick by me, to give me a chance, I’ll give you whatever you wish.”
“My wish has already come true,” she said, smiling into his upturned face. “It was
you, after all.”

-Blaine and Madeline”
― Charlotte Featherstone, Mistress of the Night

“Roland took a deep breath, then began. "Feed me and I live. Give me to drink and I die. What am I?"
"FIRE." No hesitation. Only that insufferable smugness, a tone which said That was old to me when your grandmother was young, but try again! This is more fun than I've had in centuries, so try again!”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: I pass before the sun, Blaine, yet make no shadow. What am I?

Blaine: WIND.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long.

Blaine: (without hesitation) ONE'S BREATH.

Yet he did hesitate, Eddie thought suddenly. Jake and Susannah were watching Roland with agonized concentration, fists clenched, willing him to ask Blaine the right riddle, the stumper, the one with the Get the Fuck Out of Jail Free card hidden inside it; Eddie couldn't look at them-Suze, in particular-and keep his concentration. He lowered his gaze to his own hands, which were also clenched, and forced them to open on his lap. It was surprisingly hard to do. From the aisle he heard Roland continuing to trot out the golden oldies of his youth.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: Riddle me this, Blaine: If you break me, I'll not stop working. If you can touch me, my work is done. If you lose me, you must find me with a ring soon after. What am I?

Susannah's breath caught for a moment, and although he was looking down, Eddie knew she was thinking what he was thinking: that was a good one, a damned good one, maybe-

Blaine: (still without hesitation) THE HUMAN HEART. THIS RIDDLE IS BASED IN LARGE PART UPON HUMAN POETIC CONCEITS; SEE FOR INSTANCE JOHN AVERY, SIRONIA HUNTZ, ONDOLA, WILLIAM BLAKE, JAMES TATE, VERONICA MAYS, AND OTHERS. IT IS REMARKABLE HOW HUMAN BEINGS PITCH THEIR MINDS ON LOVE. YET IT IS CONSTANT FROM ONE LEVEL OF THE TOWER TO THE NEXT, EVEN IN THESE DEGENERATE DAYS. CONTINUE, ROLAND OF GILEAD.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Jake: Blaine, what may go up a chimney down but cannot go down a chimney up?

Blaine: (in that tone of jolly complacency which Jake, too, is coming to loathe) A LADY'S PARASOL.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: We are very little creatures: all of us have different features. One of us in glass is set; one of us you'll find in jet. Another you may see in tin, and a fourth is boxed within. If the fifth should you pursue, it can never fly from you. What are we?

Blaine: A AND E AND I AND O AND U. THE VOWELS OF THE HIGH SPEECH. ALTHOUGH THAT PARTICULAR RIDDLE IS NOT FROM YOUR TEACHER, ROLAND OF GILEAD; I KNOW IT FROM JONATHAN SWIFT OF LONDON--A CITY IN THE WORLD YOUR FRIENDS COME FROM.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Jake: This thing runs but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks. Lacks arms, has hands; lacks a head but has a face. What is it, Blaine?
Blaine: A CLOCK.
Jake: (whispering, lips compressing) Shit.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“What builds up castles, tears down mountains, makes some blind, helps others to see? SAND. (Thankee-sai)
What lives in winter, dies in summer, and grows with its roots upward? AN ICICLE. (Blaine, you say true)
Man walks over, man walks under, in time of war he burns asunder? A BRIDGE. (Thankee-sai)”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: Blaine, what has eyes yet cannot see?
Blaine: THERE ARE FOUR ANSWERS: NEEDLES, STORMS, POTATOES, AND A TRUE LOVER.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Roland: We play for keeps. No one cries off.
Blaine: CORRECT. NO ONE CRIES OFF.
Roland: All right, Blaine, we play for keeps and no one cries off. Here's the next.
Blaine: AS ALWAYS, I AWAIT IT WITH PLEASURE.
Roland: (to Jake) Be ready with yours, Jake; I'm almost at the end of mine. (to Blaine) Blaine, I occur once in a minute, twice in every moment, but not once in a hundred thousand years. What am I?
Blaine: THE LETTER M.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“One after another, Jake posed his riddles; one after another, Blaine answered them. When Jake turned to the last page, he saw a boxed message from the author or editor or whatever you called someone who put together books like this:

We hope you've enjoyed the unique combination of imagination and logic known as RIDDLING!

Jake: (in his mind) I haven't. I haven't enjoyed it one little bit, and I hope you choke.
Yet when he looked at the question above the message, he felt a thin threat of hope. It seemed to him that, in this case, at least, they really HAD saved the best for last.
Susannah: Hurry up, Jake!
Jake: Blaine?
Blaine: YES, JAKE OF NEW YORK.
Jake: With no wings, I fly. With no eyes, I see. With no arms, I climb. More frightening than any beast, stronger than any foe. I am cunning, ruthless, and tall; in the end, I rule all. What am I?
Blaine: (promptly) THE IMAGINATION OF MAN AND WOMAN.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Susannah: (sotto voce) Everybody's a goddam critic.
Jake: Blaine, I have one more.
Blaine: EXCELLENT.
Jake: Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came sweetness.
Blaine: (amused) THIS RIDDLE COMES FROM THE HOLY BOOK KNOWN AS 'OLD TESTAMENT BIBLE OF KING JAMES.' IT WAS MADE BY SAMSON THE STRONG. THE EATER IS A LION; THE SWEETNESS IS HONEY, MADE BY BEES WHICH HIVED IN THE LION'S SKULL. NEXT? YOU STILL HAVE TIME, JAKE.
Jake: (shaking his head negatively) I've told them all. I'm done.
Blaine: (as John Wayne) SHUCKS, L'IL TRAILHAND, THAT'S A PURE-D SHAME. LOOKS LIKE I WIN THAT THAR GOOSE, UNLESS SOMEBODY ELSE CARES TO SPEAK UP. WHAT ABOUT YOU, OY OF MID-WORLD? GOT ANY RIDDLES, MY LITTLE BUMBLER BUDDY?”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Eddie: Blaine?
Blaine: YES, EDDIE OF NEW YORK.
Eddie: I have a couple of riddles. Just to pass the time, you understand.
Blaine: SPEAK, EDDIE OF NEW YORK.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Eddie: What has four wheels and flies?
Blaine: (disapproving) THE TOWN GARBAGE WAGON, AS I HAVE ALREADY SAID. ARE YOU SO STUPID OR INATTENTIVE THAT YOU DO NOT REMEMBER? IT WAS THE FIRST RIDDLE YOU ASKED ME.
Eddie: (in his mind) Yes. And what we all missed--because we were fixated on stumping you with some brain-buster out of Roland's past or Jake's book--is that the contest almost ended right there. (to Blaine) You didn't like that one, did you, Blaine?
Blaine: (agreeably) I FOUND IT EXCEEDINGLY STUPID. PERHAPS THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED IT AGAIN. LIKE CALLS TO LIKE, EDDIE OF NEW YORK, IS IT NOT SO?
Eddie: (smiling and shaking his finger) Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Or, as we used to say back in the neighborhood, 'You can rank me to the dogs and back, but I'll never lose the hard-on I use to fuck your mother.'
Jake: Hurry up! If you can do something, DO IT!
Eddie: It doesn't like silly questions. It doesn't like silly games. And we KNEW that. We knew it from Charlie the Choo-Choo. How stupid can you get? Hell, THAT was the book with the answers, not Riddle-De-Dum, but we never saw it. (to Blaine) Blaine: when is a door not a door?
Blaine: (clicking his tongue) WHEN IT'S AJAR, OF COURSE. WOULD YOU DIE WITH SUCH STUPID RIDDLES IN YOUR MOUTH?”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Eddie: Quite your whining, pal. If you want privilege of smearing us all over the landscape, you'll just have to put up with a few riddles that aren't quite up to your standards of logic.
Blaine: YOU MUST NOT SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER.
Eddie: Or what? You'll kill me? Don't make me laugh. Just play. You agreed to the game; now play it.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Your goose is cooked, Blaine, and your turkey's baked. Happy fuckin Thanksgiving.”
― Stephen King, Wizard and Glass

“Blaine is the truth.”
― Stephen King, The Waste Lands

“Eddie: (into the speaker, in a plummy and completely bogus British accent) Hullo, Blaine! Cheerio, old fellow! This is Robin Leach, host of Lifestyles of the Rich and Brainless, here to tell you that YOU have won six billion dollars and a new Ford Escort in the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes!
Susannah: Eddie, stop it! STOP IT!
Eddie: (smiling, eyes glittering with a mixture of fear, hysteria, and frustrated anger) You and your monorail girlfriend, Patricia, will spend a lux-yoo-rious month in scenic Jimtown, where you'll drink only the finest wine and eat only the finest virgins! You--
Little Blaine: ...shhhh...
Eddie: Suze? Did you--
Little Blaine: ...shhh...don't wake him up.
Eddie: What...What are you? Who are you?
Little Blaine: I'm Little Blaine. The one he doesn't see.”
― Stephen King, The Waste Lands

“Roland: Blaine, where may you find roads without carts, forests without trees, cities without houses?
Blaine: ON A MAP.
Roland: You say true. Next. I have a hundred legs but cannot stand, a long neck but no head; I eat the maid's life. What am I?
Blaine: A BROOM, GUNSLINGER. ANOTHER VARIATION ENDS, 'I EASE THE MAID'S LIFE.' I LIKE YOURS BETTER.
Roland: (ignoring Blaine's response) Cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind the stars and beneath the hills. Ends life and kills laughter. What is it, Blaine?
Blaine: THE DARK.”
― Stephen King